Na na na na nanananananananana...talk TRIP to me.

A happy Owen Wilson to you! I thought you should know that I've been thinking nonstop about that potato pizza. I've dreamed up ways to recreate it.I've thought of excuses for me to be in the neighborhood again.  I've come up with elaborate schemes involving traps to casually run into it again.  Maybe I'm hyping it up in my head and it wasn't really THAT good. But I think it really was.

How was your rally? It's crazy to think how helpless everyone here must feel with everything going on overseas. And also how it all kind of seems like a convoluted story when you're just reading about it on the news or watching it on TV. Like you're so used to this type of stuff being dramatized in books and movies that you again become desensitized to it in a way. But when you think about it being real people and real situations and lives it's just so awful and unbelievable.

On a different note, what happened with the Singles Project job thing? I'm not sure if you told me there was some sort of timeline with you deciding, or meeting someone about it but I was thinking about it today and it seemed like a really cool show that I would watch. I keep imagining an MTV show, like you know the one where they have a person and they meet 3 people in a truck and then decide to go on a date with them? Or like millionaire matchmaker. I'm sure this is neither so it makes me all the more interested to find out what it is.

This week has been really strange for me so far. The only way I can think to describe it is it feels like I'm in the eye of the hurricane. Like the past couple weeks all these things have been going on and Ive been overwhelmed yet excited and struggling to keep up with everything, but this week just seems a bit slow. Things are still happening (like our exciting trip planning), but I don't know it just seems a bit off. Like even how it was strangely chilly today which makes no sense for a day in July. That was just off. I really wish I had a less vague way of describing how I feel.

So in my current job, last week my VP basically gave me the chance to move to a different part of my team and work on new projects which I was really excited to hear because even though I do want to move on to a new company it's also really frustrating at work right now not having much to do so this would at least give me the chance to make myself useful. Today I met with the woman who would be my new manager (for all the new projects), and I was expecting it to be like a semi-training session with her telling me all the new stuff I would be working on, but it was actually like this really weird interview session where she kept telling me this wasn't a sure thing but she liked my background so she would meet with other people and see what she could do. So that really threw me off, I told my manager and he said he would look into it but it threw me off because I just thought it wouldn't be too much of a change but I would just get more work, whereas now it seems like working for the same company just doing a completely different job and starting from square 1 on a new team where I don't even want a real future. So that makes things a lot more complicated and annoying. Either way I know in these times I should be patient and see what plays out, so will keep you posted on that.

nah nah nah nah TRIP TALK:

So it seems a bit pointless to do this since we are pretty much constantly talking about this anyways but I think something we should do (maybe on the phone this sunday?) is make a packing list. Next weekend I'll be busy moving (and I have 2 religious holidays, 1 on friday and 1 on sunday) so I feel like this is our last real weekend to have everything down. I also think we should think about booking the in between trains and boats for the fjords because if its through nsb.no, those things do sell out. I know a lot of people say planning is the most fun part but I'm honestly really excited to get there and start experiencing things. Also, note to self (and to you), must get tons of sleep and relax the weekend before we leave to make sure our health is tip-top before leaving for our trip.

I haven't really figured out how I'm going to get to the airport yet on the Tuesday we leave, I can either work from home and drive to you (which may make more sense in terms of coming back home), or go to work and take the subway to JFK.

Have you heard anything else from Mette at all? I still need to plan out Denmark a little bit more but its always easier with cities when we can just bike places. I wish I had a bike at home so I can reassure myself that I know how to ride a bike.

I totally agree with you on the getting to see how people live in other places being the best part of travelling. If there's one thing I got from my Euro trip last year is that cities worldwide may be similar (lots of hustle and bustle, buildings, people), but the way people live in them is so completely different. Like in Madrid, how there are all these old streets in the middle and then in the outskirts its like these big office building. And how the people can go work in those big office buildings and do the whole corporate life thing similar to say NYC, and then go watch a bull fight (aka watch a bull get slaughtered) on the weekend like its the most normal thing in the world.
I like seeing the sights and learning the history, Id say my favorite is looking at nature or just awesome amazing things in general. I think I see sights mainly because I never want to go to a place and miss out on of the essential things about that place.

On the job front, my recruiter sent me a role again today which was similar to the one I rejected last week and normally I just go for it because its good interviewing experience, and its also a way to learn more about a different organization yadda yadda, but I think Ive finally made it to  place in my job search where Im kind of sick of going through all these motions and just want something thats right to work out. I have faith that it will work out, and that it will work out at the right time, but I can't say its easy watching other people move on while I just have to wait my turn.

I'm not sure its about being picky though. Like ok yes on a basic level it is because we can afford to not have to take the first job thats offered to us. But beyond that level I feel like its just knowing what is right for you and having the ability to go after that.

You should definitely use the 5 years question, I feel its adaptable to any interview anywhere. If I'm feeling really hardcore I will ask, Where do you see this company (or role/team) in 5 years and how can I help you get there?

I sometimes wish my job was coaching other people how to get the jobs they want. Or just things they want in life. I feel I would make a good life coach if I knew my clients well.

Denmark can come too!

Good Owen Wilson! I planned to post yesterday but I ended up going to this networking event in Union Square. It was absurdly crowded and probably pointless since it was mostly young jobseekers like myself. But I guess you never know when those connections might turn into something helpful. Anyway, I kept myself there even after a friend of mine left because I had already gone to the trouble of going and paying the cover so I might as well make the most, and I ended up staying until about 9:30 and then chatting with another friend on the street for another 15 minutes. So it was useful in that sense and good to see people.

I went to get back on the R which was supposedly coming in 2 minutes. Only it hadn't come 25 minutes later. So I gave up and decided on the 6 to the E. Except when I got to 53rd and Lex, the E was closed off. No Es at this station tonight. Now none of the FastTrack signs said anything about the E and the R and the guy in the station was saying I should go to the R, which I knew wasn't going to happen. So I went back and waited for the 6 again and took it to 59th and walked to 63rd where there is an F. Except the F wasn't running either. It was so crazy I didn't know what to do and it was already 11 at this point. I think there was a way I could've taken the Q part way and then transferred but considering no one knew what was going on, I didn't want to get stuck in the middle of nowhere. So I took a cab back down to Penn and took the train. I got home around 12:30. It was nuts.

So naturally, I was pretty exhausted and didn't post.

nah nah nah nah nah TRIP TALK:

It's true we've been talking a lot about Norway. I think there a few reasons for this. 1. It's happening first. 2. Mette will be with us at least part of the time in Denmark, so even though we should still do our own research on what we want to do I guess, I've still kind of had this feeling like it's taken care of. 3. Norway was your suggestion in the first place and I had never really thought about it before so a. I wanted to make sure we got to as much of what you'd have wanted to do as possible and b. I had to do research to learn more about it and what's good to visit there.

But I've looked into Denmark a little more and there's actually a whole Visit Aarhus website. And there's this museum there with a giant rainbow hallway on the roof which looks awesome. (also in that link: the pronunciation of Aarhus) I wonder if that's what Mette meant when she said she would take us to their museum. I was reading about all the different areas too. I keep forgetting it's a fairly major city with it's own separate identity. I love getting into the mindset of thinking of these places as where people live and thrive and even where they move to as young adults out of college. Getting to see how people live in other places is one of my favorite thing about traveling. It's a large part of the reason why I really want to LIVE somewhere else for a while rather than just visit and see the tourist sights, but seeing the sights is essential too!

I found an adapter laying around and there are probably more around here too though they're for Israel so I don't know how useful they will be now that I think of it. But yeah, something like the rice cooker I was think might have a voltage issue. I have no idea, but I was just thinking that. I'm glad you're into the Airbnb idea. I think it'll be a cool experience. Weirdly, my mom has never heard of it. I just feel like they are so present on talk shows and news and the internet.

Sounds like you had one hell of an interview. It's good that at least you were able to really rule it out. Sometimes when I think a job is not what I want, a voice in my head says "Yeah but you're just saying that because you don't want to deal with budgets or managerial work blah blah" and somehow it makes sense when the voice says it. But now that I type it, it actually seems like a legitimate reason to not take a job. Like no, I don't necessarily want a full time coordinator job, and at this point I guess I can be a little picky. I'm lucky to be in that position so why not take advantage. Anyway, back to you.

It's super weird that that guy said "nonexistant." That's a good question by the way. I 'll probably steal that and adapt it to TV. You did not tell me about these essays (I don't think?) but that sounds crazy. The fact that they called you back must feel good though since it was just "Oh we'll be in touch." They really must see promise in you. How did it go?

Congrats on your VPs giving you more responsibilities! Did you start that yet? It's still a confusing time in life, but at least it's confusing because there are a lot of good things in your orbit. I feel similarly since I'm in the middle of two job searches, trip planning, and a potential future apartment search. Having all that on the brain can be tiring, but it's all in the name of adventure and progress. Got to go help out my mother and try to get my room cleaned up a bit for you. See you Sunday!

Norwegian Recycling

TRIP TALK:

So the comment about the norwegian recycling made me laugh and also then think that it was a great idea. I've been meaning to see if he has any new stuff out in any case. Ok so WOOHOOO we are booked! It's funny we ended up booking the same flight we were tracking for a week but Im glad it didn't sell out and we were able to make it out to be a 1000. I forwarded the itinerary to my parents and my dad was like I thought 700 was an excellent price for 2 people until I realized it was only way.
So now we aren't just definitely coming home we are also definitely going there. I hope my life makes a little bit more sense by then but eh who knows Im kind of also enjoying life not making sense at the moment (more on that later in the post).

I love the whole two awesome jet-setters making our way. This trip is so very different from my trip last year because its not a tour and everything isn't planned for me. That is probably also why I'm a little bit more stressed about it ( in a good way) because I want to make sure we cover all our bases. That and like I said before my mom pretty much just trained me to be this way, because she always planned everything out and because of that we had minimal setbacks during our vacations so that was nice. I think if there is one thing I learned from last year's trip though is that some things you just can't control and have to go with it. Last time it was getting sick, it was awful but hey I still made it (which reminds me we should pack some vitamin c and medicine just in case otherwise know how to say tylenol in norwegian). Ditto for the weather thing.You feel like we keep only talking about the Norway part of our trip and not the Denmark part? I feel like Denmark feels left out.

I may be overwhelming on Sunday but I think we will figure out a style that works best for us and it will be great. Should I still come and have lunch or just eat at home then come? I think also with the fjords and everything we will probably need some time to just kind of stare anyways. I may not be making any sense for which I apologize, I thought about waiting till tomorrow to write this but I figured eh Im here might as well.

I think I may have some adapters lying around but if not we can always get off amazon. When you said transformers I thought you were making a joke but I think there is actually something that changes the voltage on certain things. I don't think we will need it since phones usually work in both, but if we plan on carrying other appliances we may need it.

I am definitely not opposed to the Airbnb thing, im all about having new experiences on this trip so as long as we are safe I am down! We can look more into that on Sunday.

I'm glad you enjoyed my story about the shower, I was thinking that its a little silly to write the whole thing down but I wanted to tell you so I did. They did not make a hat but they did make a bouquet out of all the ribbons so that was nice ( I was amazed by that as well). I totally see where you're coming from with the idea of a wedding sounding unappealing. I'm not sure I feel quite so strongly about it but at the end of the day I was telling my friend how stressed out I would get if it was my shower because I would feel personally responsible that everyone had a good time.  Also the shower for me would be completely optional since thats more of an american thing, but I had fun so I would want others to as well.

In other news I had an interview today. I had an inkling that I may not want this job but for some reason I decided to go on the interview anyways (i mean its still good practice i guess) and going on it solidified that I didnt want the job so that was good. The role itself I knew I wouldnt like and the people were kind of negative because they kept bad mouthing the systems they worked with. That and I asked one of the guys "Where do you see this team in 5 years?" and he went "Nonexistent" so that was a new one. I could write a book on this stuff.

I have another one tomorrow which is for the company that made me write 4 essays when I first went in (did I tell you about this?). Originally my second round for them was cancelled because they already filled the roles but apparently something opened up so they called my recruiter again and asked for me so thats good I guess? I'm not sure, I'm going into it with an open mind and we will see what happens.

To add to all this chaos, I had a meeting at work today with my two VP's who told me that they would like to me to move into a different part of my team since the projects Im working on are on hold. This is great because 1. I will actually have work to do now and 2. Ill get to learn something new and get a new experience and basically get to have a whole new job in my current job.

So with all this Im kind of just going with the flow and seeing what happens. I still haven't heard a final yes or no for the job I interviewed for with my director. According to my recruiter they liked me but they don't know if they have the right role for me since I still don't have that much experience which is a valid point.

It will be interesting to see how all of this ends up but for now I'm just kind of enjoying the ride (what am I not enjoying is the subway rides downtown for interviews. Why is downtown so far?)

Ok and with that I bid you an Owen Wilson.

It really depends on the movie

TRIP TALK:

I agree that this has lost some of it's magic and intrigue, but that's good because when we started talking about it in real life it made it seem more real. You know, like real life? WE'RE BOOKED WOOOOOOO! So exciting we are officially going. Just two awesome jet-setters making our way. I hope this is forever how I see myself.

Seriously, though I am very excited that we are booked and only a little bit nervous about how overwhelming you're about to be on Sunday. Woohoo! We'll probably spend most of the time figuring out the stupid, non-user friendly train websites. Damn Norwegian train people. I feel like I should load up my ipod with Norwegian Recycling Mash-ups to get pumped. Not that I really need the help. It'll be good to solidify our schedule a little more and give Mette an official report of when we'll be there so that she can figure out when she needs to take off. I do think we should keep in mind though that it could be rainy and some of these things may need to be weather permitting. We'll see. I also think (and maybe this doesn't need to be said, but) that we don't necessarily need to figure out every activity right now since there is still research to be done. Of course, we can fill in the more basic stuff that are must-sees, like the Viking ships and the Mermaid. Also, let's keep in mind figuring out the power/outlet situations and if we need to buy adapters or transformers.

I will try and find my combination lock and, perhaps more importantly, remember the combination... The more I think about it, the more I feel like doing Airbnb in Oslo might be really nice. Personally, I just think it would be nicer for Shabbat, but also, we'll be just off a lot of travel and activity from the Fjords and it might be good to have a real bed and shower and kitchen and all that. Plus, because you book as two people, the cheaper ones don't come out to that much money at all. I'm not against hostels though so if you'd prefer that we can, or we can see Sunday what's available.

Moving on.

Your story about the shower made me laugh. Actually I've only seen the wine bottles thing a couple of times. My sister did one for her friend and it was awesome. I think Jewish and non-jewish (or less religious) traditions tend to be different too (though not as much) so I get where you're coming from there. I missed out on one of my non-jewish friend's shower because it was a Saturday, but it would have been interesting to see. Did they make a hat out of all the wrapping paper? I like that when I get married I'll get to make my sister make me things for the shower. She'll like that probably until she gets uber stressed about it. Of course by that time she might have too many kids or something (this is based on nothing other than a general timeline). The idea of a wedding sounds so unappealing to me. All the work and trying to make other people happy. Maybe when you have a person to marry it seems worth it, but right now it really doesn't. Even the shower and the parties and all that.

I'm so glad to hear you had a nice talk with your mom. That was an interesting and surprising outcome (sidenote based on typo: Income and Outcome- not opposites, completely different words... weird.), and I'm glad you were able to reach it. I don't know if this is the case with you, but sometimes I find that a lot of my difficulty with my mom comes from the fact that we have very different communication styles. For me, simply understanding this makes it easier to handle and accept, but she doesn't really understand what I mean when I say it so, it's not all the useful I guess. I too am much better at expressing myself in writing. Somehow, the words just flow better. But more than that, it's nice being able to really think through what you're saying and make sure you want to say it. It's a quality I have mixed feelings about to be honest. On one hand, I like that I think before I speak and say (I think) fewer stupid things than a lot of other people. On the other hand, it can be exhausting worrying so much over something like what to say.

I feel like I have a lot of other things to say, but I don't really feel like writing them all right now so we'll leave it there this time. A happy Owen Wilson to you madam.

I've always liked Owen Wilson

So I wanted to write this during the weekend but it kind of went by way too fast and before I knew it was monday. So that sucked. But I went to my first ever bridal shower this weekend and it was really fun! It was for the wedding Im going to in October (for my friend Sophia from work), and one of my other friends from work slept over my house as the shower was in NJ.  It was really funny because since it was my first shower I kept being amazed by everything like the bridesmaids did this thing where they got the bride a bottle of wine for the couple's each big moment during their first year (wedding night, first fight, first christmas, first anniversary etc.) and I was like wow thats so creative and just all around impressed whereas everyone else was lik...this happens at all the bridal showers.

It was also just an insane amount of food. I filled up on appetizers not realizing they were appetizers and then they brought out the entree and I was dumbfounded. So yea it was basically a whole lot of being amazed. It was also interesting to see because this is a mixed wedding (the bride is indian and the groom is italian/catholic) and some of the traditions are already so different. Like you would think that wouldn't really happen at the bridal shower since its not like there are as many traditions as in the wedding but one funny-ish thing that happened was with the cake. Indian people have this weird tradition where whenever we cut a cake (like at birthdays/anniversaries/weddings), we proceed to feed our close family members a small piece. To indian people this is completely normal and even borderline compulsory but obviously to everyone else its just weird. So when the bride cut the cake she gave a small piece to her mom, and her mom was insisting she do the same with her mother-in-law, while the mother-in-law was just like umm..im good thanks. So yea that was interesting.

My tense situation at home is finally better. I had a long and emotional talk with my mom. I wont go into details now since Im going to be seeing you this week in any case but basically I just need to learn to be a better communicator and tell my mom more things about my life so she isnt shocked when I tell her certain things. This wasn't really the conclusion I thought our talk would reach but Im glad we brought this out in the open so at least I can work on it. I don't think I'm a particularly great communicator with anybody. I definitely prefer writing to talking in that sense because Im just better at expressing myself this way, but again its all me so I think with time things will be good.

It's funny you mentioned the fight with the jelly because I think about that all the time in like a very different kind of way. To me it was kind of an example of how great we were at living with each other because even when those little personality quirks came up we were able to get past them with no resentment or issues. Also it was pretty much the only problem we had ever so we were definitely lucky in that sense.

Wait what pinecones? My normally stellar memory is seriously failing me. I vaguely recall something about a perfectly shaped pine cone, again this might just be me knowing that you appreciate perfectly shaped things (like that 7).

It is kind of absurd how taxing errands can be. Like seriously sometimes I think I get most exhausted on the days where all I do is run errands. Speaking of I have a lot of those to actually run like buying a bed and whatnot.

--cue theme music--

TRIP TALK: I have to say this segment has lost a little of its juice since we keep communicating about the trip in so many different ways, but I do feel good that we're gonna get the tickets tomm. It's about time we had this thing locked in. I totally get what you mean about feeling like you are in control of your life, Im not sure if I feel that way yet but it definitely does make me feel really independent. I dont think we need to bring combo locks but it doesn't take too much space so why not.

I think this is what we should do while at your house (I think im just going to come on Sunday because that will be most efficient for booking things):
1. Book our hostels
2. Book our trains if possible
3. Book overnight ferry if we are doing it
4. Make a list of things to pack (like sheets for hostels, unfortunately the hot plate is with my dad in India but I have a rice cooker I can bring which we can use to make ramen, oatmeal, rice, soup, and probably pasta but we would need sauce)
5. Make a detailed itinerary ( I think we can fill in with things like attractions/food places to try during the week)
6. If we need advance tickets for any attractions we should buy them
7. Try to see if we can specify our food preferences on our flights

Thats all I can think of for now but we will be in touch!

Mind the Gap

I had every intention of writing yesterday until it was close to midnight, and I had forgotten. The same thing happened today, but hopefully I still have enough time to write something of substance. I'm glad you were a lot calmer and happier after our talk. It seemed like it worked out a lot more seamlessly that you probably anticipated, so alls well that ends well.

Sorry to hear about your tense situation at home. Hopefully it's better by now. Are you home this weekend? It seems like that might help since you'd be around. As you know, I deal with my fair share of passive-aggressive behavior in my family, and it is NOT fun. But if you are really able to move on from it, and you are both or all comfortable dealing with it in that way and then moving forward, then I don't see the harm. This reminds me a little of the fight we had about the jelly. I felt so guilty and wanted to say so about a hundred times and you were just cool moving on. I guess it just depends on your communication methods. I read something once that said something along the lines of: Despite popular wisdom, you SHOULD go to bed angry, because it'll all look different in the morning. Now, I really don't remember where I saw it, and I feel like it may have just been on someone's Facebook wall, but I don't see how that's any less a good point than the original. Again, maybe it's all about what works for you.

Sometimes, the hardest thing is not feeling properly heard though, so I get what you're saying about a. wanting them to understand that your initial reaction is just what you normally do and not how you will later deal with it and b. being upset that your mother was still angry after you had completely rearranged your schedule. If it makes you feel any better, I hear you, and I understand that you took the hit to avoid further conflict when you didn't necessarily have to.

I remember Andy!!! He was so much better at not getting in the way of the door than Rocket was. But damn did Rocket have a cooler name. Also, I'm pretty sure we had pinecones in common first? Do you know me but at all???

So, I've been helping out Eric's grandmother and making some money. It's kind of absurd how tired you get just running errands. Like how is it that driving in your car and walking around a large building putting items in a shopping cart are taxing activities. Yet, I feel like a worked a full day. (it was 5 hours) The good thing is it's gotten me moving (and also, the money.)

TRIP TALK:
Just so you know, I do keep looking at flights, but I think it still makes sense to wait until Tuesday. And then comes the rest of the planning! I am so excited that we are making this happen. It's so rare for me to think about something and then actually do it, so this is a pretty inspirational adventure for me. I mean honestly, I say things all the time and don't follow through. It's a chronic problem in my family. Actually doing this makes me feel so in control of life.
In term of hostels, I would be fine staying with others. I like meeting strangers assuming they aren't rude, and maybe they'd have some travel tips. I bought the sleeve for the camera- hopefully it fits!- but I do feel better learning about the lockers. Should we bring combination locks? I feel like I have a couple but god knows if I remember the combinations. Anyway, gotta run now, but we'll be in touch and you'll be here next week!

Someday I'll say this again and it'll sound deep

So I'm not going to go in order today because we covered a lot in our call yesterday which was great especially for the mood I was in, because I left it feeling a lot calmer and happier.

Then I came home today ( in a relatively good mood) because I had been able to go to zumba and get home by a decent time and was glad I was early enough that I could help with the dishes and still go to bed by a decent time (my sleep log has not been looking good as of late), but then I got home and realized my mom had already done the dishes and wasn't speaking to me so that was awesome (sarcasm). I mean her not speaking to me isn't a brand new thing because I'm sure she's done it a bunch of times before when she's been upset at me and normally we just let things cool off for a day then go back to normal. I never realized this was a bad way to handle things until recently when I was telling my friend that if I ever get into a fight with my parents we just sleep on it then pretend like nothing ever happened the next day. I mean I guess it's not all bad because it's good that we let stupid things go ( and the things we normally fight about are stupid), but in times like this it seems like a really not good way to deal with things. So it made me really upset that she wasn't speaking to me but I didn't really know what to say so I just kind of let it be. I presumed she was still upset with what happened last night (not sure if I told you but initially when my mom told me the date of the event I was like no I cannot be here I told you already that I'm going away at that time. That made nobody happy(for obvious reasons), but I did think they would realize that this is normally how I respond to emotional situations (where my initial reaction is very unreasonable/stubborn/ at times makes no sense) but once Ive had a chance to cool down I come up with pretty good ways out of it(in this case we did).

But yea anyways I guess that made her mad enough to want to not speak to me for the whole day. This is after I already agreed to rearrange everything to accommodate this event. One small consolation was that I checked my family group text where my sister had asked my mom something and she responded in a equally cynical way (she said you can do whatever you want) so at least its not just me. But then again my sister doesnt have to live with her so eh. I am sure all will be fine with time but right now it sucks.

To cheer myself up I started watching bad youtube videos and then realized writing here would be a much better use of my time so here we are.

I have to agree that a lot of times its better having friends in various places and things rather than having a group. I've never really been a group person, maybe because I just can't handle the company of more than 2 people at one time. I really like giving the people Im with my attention and I dont think its possible for me to do that with more than 2 people. I'm glad the whole non group thing is more acceptable now because at time in college it was a struggle (which is why I sometimes fell into groups where I did not ness feel at place..ahem). But now it makes things better because I can get dinner or do other fun things with people one on one. And since theyre all in different interesting places it always makes for good conversation.

I also agree with you that first impression don't always tell everything ( wow that was such a duh sentence). Anyways, I also have friends where I didn't immediately see the depth of the connection we could have but once I did it was awesome. I'm pretty sure when I met you I thought the only think we would have in common was wanting to give our fridge a name (remember Andy?), and we all know how that turned out.

Can I just say its ridiculous how much I think about the mammoth article? Like its really defined how I think about certain things which I guess was his intention so thats pretty awesome. But seriously stupid mammoth.

TRIP TALK:

Ok so we talked a bunch yesterday but we didn't cover everything here so lets see:
- the more I think about it the more I want to do the sailing thing. Im going to make our new and hopefully final itinerary tomm so yay
-In terms of hostel would you definitely want to stay in a 2 person room or would you be open to staying in an all girl room with other people as well? One of my friends did that in Spain and because she traveled on an off season most of the rooms she said ended up just being the 2 of them anyways. Obviously we are not going on an off season but I wanted to check to see how you felt. I am ok with either.
- In terms of packing I feel we will make a list closer to the time of when we leave (which is kind of a month away so thats scary and exciting!)
-i like the sleeve! Also a lot of the hostels I was looking at have lockers so that would be good for your camera as well.
  -Im not sure if I missed anything but I looked at the flight you sent and Im thinking maybe we should just take the plunge and book the 2 one way tickets

The Ninth of the month of Av sounds scary and I really hope nothing scary happens that day. Reading about the crazy things happening over there is surreal for me so I can only imagine how scary it is for you.

I don't think this post was very light-hearted but then again I never really promised light-heartedness so ha! Anyways, really looking forward to seeing you next week (hopefully my mom doesnt hate me by then)!

Itineraries are exciting

TRIP TALK: I just don't get people who think organization is boring. Planning this trip is going to be half the fun. Probably. Hopefully. Maybe, like, a quarter of the fun. Okay, so I looked over the itinerary and it looks like a good skeleton. I'll have to ask Mette about what there is to do within walking distance on Friday night or Saturday. I don't know if/how much we've spoken about the whole Shabbat thing so we'll have to discuss it. Here is the last thing she sent me:

Okay! You can of course stay with me in Aarhus! It'll be great. I'm in France now with no computer, but just to let you know you can sail from Norway to the north of Jutland by boat (to Frederikshavn, I think or Hirtshals) and take the train from there to Aarhus.

But I will come back to you with tips on Wednesday

I'm the only 'can't miss' in Denmark. And the little Mermaid

Just be prepared. The little mermaid is very small

Oh, and Louisiana is the best museum in Copenhagen.

Sidenote, when you paste from Facebook into here you can type right into the bubble. I looked into the sailing thing. The only one from Oslo to Frederikshavn (these names, jeez) seems to be at 7pm, which wouldn't work Friday night or Saturday because of Shabbat (ugh). I read about the Norway in a nutshell trip and that certainly seems like the thing to do. The book says we can do it on our own or with a package. Also that it'll be crowded. But it seems like most people go all the way through and start in Bergen and end up in Oslo or vice versa. Obviously, I know nothing about Bergen, but if we go through to Oslo we get to see another city. Again, just throwing it out as something to think about. As for the flight, those look good, though I feel like I saw some non stop flights for $500something on expedia and cheapoair. Also if we leave Sunday morning, from Aarhus, that doesn't really give us any time to see anything not on Shabbat. Can you see this? http://www.tripadvisor.com/CheapFlights?roundtrip=yes&Orig=NYC&Dest=CPH&adults=1&leaveday=24&leavemonth=08%2F2014&leavetime=anytime&retday=31&retmonth=08%2F2014&rettime=anytime&x=73&y=20
Here's a screencap in case...

Let me know when you want to absolutely be home by. I feel like that will give us a better idea of when we need to leave. 

In terms of packing, I tend to overpack, but the more I know about what we are doing, the more targeted I can be in my packing. I can look at weather and make decisions accordingly and all that. I mean, I don't have a backpacking backpack, so that doesn't seem super feasible. Also we should take into account the time it will take to fly everywhere if we have to do security each time. Although I guess it would be faster than trains regardless. P.s. we should think about power adapters and what we'll need to charge stuff.

Anywho... 

I'm thinking of buying a neoprene type sleevey thing like THIS for the camera. That way I can throw it in my bag while we walk around without worrying about a. carrying too much stuff b.carrying the bulky camera bag and basically walking around with a "tourist" sign and most importantly c. it's protected and not just loose in my bag. I just have to figure out if that would fit my camera with my lens. 

I've always had a little bit of trouble relating to Erica because I don't live with regrets like that, but I guess you're right. My crazy is in the future instead of the past. That actually makes a lot of sense. And still, the advice and life lessons were always relatable anyway. Being present is very difficult, which I guess could bring us back to the Waitbutwhy... It seems like at this stage in life though, most of what I do is planning for the future. What's the next job? Where will I live? When will I get an apartment? London??? And maybe that is more about my stage right now than a chronic problem of "Future Overthink" Or maybe that's what I always say. 

It's so nice having friends in different places. I had a conversation with a friend this weekend about how even though it can be nice having a "group" that you do everything with, I find that I'm happier when I have friends in different places. He disagreed, which I think is interesting just because it's always interesting when people have opinions that are different. I know this sounds obvious, but in this case we both have the same facts and information, but we just feel differently. I'm not articulating well, but someday I'll say this again, and it'll sound deep.

I do hear what you're saying on spending time only on the people that have staying power in your life. That said, I also think people tend to surprise you. Some of my closer friends are people that I didn't feel an immediate connection, and there are times when your similarities with someone else take time or perhaps an exact moment before you see them. So for that reason I say, always be open to it because you never know. 

For me, in this blog at least, I would agree that you're good at the tough love. Me, not so much. Too worried about the mammoth I guess (Stupid mammoth...). I do really believe strongly in honesty and being who I am and saying what I feel unapologetically as long as it's about me and no one gets hurt. I feel like people hide behind honesty sometimes and don't care about the feelings of others, but there is a middle ground. Wow I'm super not making sense tonight. Talk about a work in progress... The nice thing about this blog is I'm going to post this anyway even though inmy right my mind we would call this a "draft."

Your world cup adventure sounds like so much fun. It makes me wonder where I'll be four years from now and who I'll be with. Will I be at a bar somewhere watching the finals? Will I be in this country? Will I be with friends? Co-workers? A significant other? The future is a mystery!!! 

I'm glad you liked hearing about Austria. I really thought that was interesting too, especially since I never knew about the whole Poland aspect. My dad seemed to imply that he had deliberately left it out of the story. Guess he never expected it to come up! ha! I'd be happy to share more about my grandfather's whole story with you. Maybe when you're here so that my dad can tell you. It's such an interesting story honestly, it feels like a movie. I didn't know my grandfather, but from the stories, he didn't seem like one for hyperbole, which makes it all the more impressive. 

Tomorrow (Tuesday) is a fast day, so I probably won't be that functional. This fast day starts a period known as the 3 weeks, culminating the anniversary of the destruction of the temple (the ninth of the month of Av). The Ninth of Av is generally thought to be a terrible day in Jewish history. A disproportionate amount of bad things have happened on that day. I say this not to be pessimistic, but just to say that the state of the world and the middle east and Israel is scary right now, and going into this period of time makes it somewhat scarier. On a completely different note. Fasts are supposed to make you forget about food and focus on what is important. Given how much time I've been spending focusing on food lately, it will be good for me to focus my mind elsewhere if I can. (Normally, I just end up thinking about my hunger... 

Excitement.

TRIP TALK: So happy you're pumped! I'm going to start looking at flights this week so that's exciting. Also I don't know if I already told you but I got a book on Denmark and one of Sweden (for some reason the library didn't have any of Norway so I'll have to just go off the internet for that one, shrug). I like the idea of Aarhus too and love the idea of a local showing us around so definitely keen to keep that in our trip (I hope you appreciated my use of the word keen because I certainly did). As for the keeping or taking out Sweden thing, it's definitely good to know you are open to that option. I'll see how much there is to do in each place as I'm researching. I know Norway has a ton to see and do, but also I've found from past experiences that how much time you have in a day is actually a lot more than what you think in terms of sightseeing. The things that suck up time and travelling to and from places, or waiting in lines for things. Otherwise we can actually do a lot in a day so lets see how it goes.
Also good to know the ferry thing, for the Norway fjord tours I was looking into it seems like most of it is that they take you on a boat through the fjords which is cool. If we have an extra day we may be able to make it so that we stay somewhere in mid-point and sneak in a hike but again we will really have to plan. The good thing about the boat tour thing is that there is the option of having someone move your luggage for you from hotel to hotel if you don't want to worry about transporting it. Or we could backpack it but I'm not really sure what kind of packer you are because we've never really covered that.
I did read Girl with the Dragon Tattoo but I don't really remember the Sweden parts to it unfortunately. I just remember the disturbing parts (again, unfortunately).
I like how you seem to think I know what I'm doing because I keep having moments where Im like, I have no idea what Im doing but hey we will try and hope for the best. I never understood the whole library not open on weekends during the summer thing...when else am I supposed to go get books?

I understand your anxiousness with the camera, I would feel the same to be quiet honest. It's actually the same with me and my sunglasses. And a camera is worth much more so I feel you.  At the same time though, we will be seeing some frekin amazing things on this trip so we must document it in one way or another. So I say take the plunge. You bought this camera to document the amazing things in your life, and if you dont use it for that then what is it really worth? If you really have to leave it in a hostel I would say bring a combination lock for your suitcase and leave it in there.

I really liked and appreciated Steve Miller's advice. I think we are all guilty of getting ahead of ourselves and not being in the present and that's a great reminder to not do that. I often think this is a general problem with me (not being present enough) and try to find ways to remedy it. I've got nothing so far so let me know if you have anything. It's funny I feel like some people live in the past and their regrets (cough, Erica, cough) and some (like me) just kind of focus on the future a little too much. Either way it stops you from being truly present and enjoy the moment so it's not good.

I also like what you said about having friends in different places from past jobs. I always think about how some friends I spend a lot of time with when our lives go together and things are convenient and some just kind of stay with me way past that. And that's really a testament to if we truly get along as people or if we are just spending time together because we all need company.  I think as I grow older I'm kind of forcing myself to stop making those friends who are just kind of there, and start focusing on the people who actually add value to my life. I mean obviously we all need company sometimes and I think I will always be nice to everyone, but there's really no reason to go out of your way to spend time with someone who you know you won't speak to in a couple of years.

I think I definitely need tough love and the push too. In a lot of ways my wise friend at work does that because I feel he's grown past the level where he needs to sugar coat things for people and rather is just able to tell you straight up what you need to hear. It's not always easy to hear it but the genuine nature of it can't be beat. If anything I think girls in general are not so great at doing this but I strive to do it. One of my friends actually told me that I'm really good at telling people hard things they don't want to hear in a nice way. I'm not sure if I completely agree with that because I do think I could do a better job at being more honest at times but it's all a work in progress. Life is a work in progress.

Today I went to the city to watch the world cup final with a couple of my friends from work and my new roommates (the friends from work are the ones who introduced me to my new roommates). It was all very fun and reminded me of college except in a more grown up way. It's funny that my new roommates are also an indian and an asian and when I was thinking about that today it reminded me of the whole harmony thing. Ha.

So great to hear about your dad and Austria! I feel often times we think our parents will react in certain ways to things and then they end up being totally cool with it and it's confusing. I think a lot of this has to do with how we've seen our parents growing up, and how we have memories and preconceived notions of how they treated us when we were kids (like making us eat soap). But along the way we kind of forget to realize that they've watched us grow up too and maybe that's triggered a change in the way they think of us.

I also have to say it's incredibly interesting to hear all this history about your family ( I feel like I'm reading a book!). Mainly because I have mostly heard and read this stuff in books, so hearing a real life account of it is mind-blowing. Thank you for sharing that with me. I'm convinced I'll read it again in your autobiography someday.

Planning is so exciting

TRIP TALK: I just needed to do it first because I'm pumped! I messaged my friend again with our dates, and asking if she has any can't-misses in Copenhagen. No Worries about the google doc. If you'd rather email and whatever I'll just create a label in my inbox. Flights to and from Norway are a lot more money actually so it makes sense to fly to and from Denmark. I also looked into Aarhus a little more and it'll be cool to see a whole different area. It's like across a body of water from Copenhagen, a totally different region. Excited. Also, I'm just throwing this out there so you can think about it as you're planning, but if you find there is more you want to do in Norway and you don't want to do Sweden, then we can definitely talk about that. Even though we probably won't use these means, I love that you can get from Copenhagen to Aarhus or Aarhus to Oslo partially by ferry. Did you read the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo? It takes place in Sweden and whenever I look at maps I keep thinking about the cities in which it takes place. Side note. Anyway. Yes to not wearing ourselves out. It seems like you know what you're doing though, so I trust you to figure out how much is just enough.
I'll try and get some books from the library too, but I don't really understand that place since it was renovated. Plus they're not open on weekends.

Oh the JARS. I saw a friend from my Israel school on Friday and we were discussing our Love/Hate relationship with it. It's so strange.

I just want to get out the open that I'm a little anxious about my camera and the trip. I foresaw this being a problem before buying the camera, but I'm kind of nervous about bringing it and not feeling like carrying it around or what happens if I have to leave it in a hostel, you know? I'm sure people travel with cameras all the time and I shouldn't worry- this is why I bought it after all, isn't it?-, but I have been and just wanted to say it.

It's funny that I just told you about that book and the harmonies because my family friend was reading it today and was asking me questions about specifically the significance of that. It's so hard to talk to people about something you've read or seen and they haven't finished yet, but I oddly believe it is one of my skills. I like to think I give thorough and spoiler free answers when asked.

That's great that the recruiter said you had positive feedback! I know it may not seem like much, but if their process is slower, that may be all they can give right now, in which case that's great! Change is scary. I certainly would be in a position to disagree with that. I often have that same anxiety when I think I get a job. Planning all the consequences and life changes of something that isn't real yet feel ridiculous, but as you saw last week with the Live thing, I'm definitely a serious offender.

When I was first looking for a job at the end of college, I was talking to Steve Miller, the head of my department about it. He is Jewish and knew I am religious so I confided in him how worried I was about having to tell potential employers about shabbos and if it was even possible. He's not the type to really have patience for that crap, but his message was a strong one that basically comes down to- Worry about getting the job first. Don't worry about the things that come after. It's something I've told myself over and over since then. I think it's just some people's personality to think 8 hypothetical steps ahead like that. And though reminding myself of his advice doesn't always stop me from doing it, it does tend to give me perspective on what I'm doing. Like, yeah, you're worrying about what is going to happen and those feelings are valid, but just keep in mind that they are several steps ahead of where your brain really needs to be.

Your co-worker does sound wise. I'm glad you broke down what you were hesitant about. Sometimes they can be real reasons, and dissecting it gave you the peace of mind of knowing that you are just worried because it's a big change and it's outside your comfort zone. But it's good and exciting to get outside your comfort zone! Sometimes, you have to leave something that partially good to get to something entirely better. Plus, when I think about freelancing and moving on to different jobs all the time, I always enjoy knowing that I'll have friends in different places from past jobs.

This blog is my Dr. Tom in a lot of ways too. Especially since you're so good at the tough love. Sometimes I need validation, but I do need that push probably even more. You've been good at pushing me into jumping into the London thing, for example, and I really needed (and still need) that. I think part of the reason I want to get my blog going is that in my mind I think it could even help.

Speaking of London, I took the opportunity of this weekend with my dad to talk to him about Austria. He was a lot more responsive than I thought, and said that his father took pride in being Austrian and didn't seem to blink about giving them the documents. In fact, he was excited to talk about it and went to get them out as soon as we got home. A slight potential hiccup is an interesting story that I never knew. Apparently, my grandfather was born in a city called Brody. When he was born, in 1913 (Whoa!) Brody was an Austrian city. But, around 1920, it became a part of Poland. So, when he was issued a passport by the Nazis, it says that he was born in Poland. I don't know if this will be a problem, because technically he was born in Austria but his paperwork says he's Polish, and in any case he should count as a naturalized Austrian citizen. I think it would also probably possible to get a Polish citizenship instead if it comes to that, but being an Austrian citizen would be way cooler. I looked it up and Brody is apparently now part of the Ukraine. It's weird to think how thinks have changed over there in the last century. He would have been 101 this coming week.

It's strange and not really all that comfortable having this tumultuous relationship with my dad and yet needing him for this, especially since I really do enjoy learning about my family history. Apparently, we are Austrian on his mother's side too.

I just spent the last 20 min looking at JARS...

I understand every complicated feeling you feel about it now. On the one hand they are pretty and look like they would taste delicious. But on the other hand this is totally just a fad like the cupcake fad(probably will last her long enough to make her rich but eh). On the other other hand why is this a successful business?! All she did was put cake in a jar, anyone could do that!

Yea. I didnt like the page but I entertained the idea of it.

Ok now on to real things...

The harmonies thing sounds really cool, I guess it kind of goes along with the whole history repeats itself thing. But I agree that me starting my day with you and you ending your day with me is very harmonious, and I've always been a sucker for having set schedules and times to do things( I was one of those people who made schedules for myself during summer vacation, it included 1 hour of aimless thinking cuz I tend to do that), so this goes along well with that. Your pneumonic was great. I find myself trying to think of new and fun pneumonics during my spare time. Or at work.

So the interview has been making me very antsy but my recruiter called me yesterday ( I first missed her call and started freaking out but then managed to calm myself down enough to call her back) to tell me that she spoke to the hr rep from the company to get feedback and they had positive things to say but not like a final offer yet. So that's something I suppose? Gah I dont know it still makes me nervous thinking about it and it's not even so much that I won't get the job. I think I'm anxious that I will get it then I will have the decision to make and have to deal with change. Dealing with change is a scary thing.

It is very true what you said about the culture thing though. Like I really don't like what I do now but the reason I still get scared and hesitant when thinking about leaving is because of all the friends and great people I have at work.

It's always good to think about new things you can do and new avenues you have to change your own life. I think we are at the right age to do that too, not that I think we should stop doing it once we get older it but who knows. Life could get in the way.

I think regardless of what situation you end up there will be mixed benefits and drawbacks. It's more a question of deciding whether those drawbacks outweigh the benefits or vice versa. I talked to my wise friend at work yesterday when I was freaking about about my recruiter's phone call. I don't know why but it seemed vital that I kind of mentally prepare myself for what's to come even if nothing real has happened yet. So anyways, my friend asked me--assuming I get the job, what my main hesitations were about taking it and how strongly I felt about them on a scale of 1-10. At first I refused to think or speak logically but I think the more I went through the exercise the more I realized that my hesitations on this job would be my hesitations with any new opportunity. And that what I was really scared and freaked out about wasn't necessarily this new job but the change that comes with moving onto a new step in life in general.

So jealous you have a Dr.Tom but in a lot of ways I treat this blog this way so it works. I think one of the best things about Dr.Tom was his tough love. Sometimes you don't need hand holding but rather someone to push you to do things are right for you.

I loved your little shpeal on nicknames.I remember when I was in middle school I was dying for a nickname and no one ever gave me any. Then in high school I got a ton and it was cool but I never thought about them in such a deep way. I've also kind of felt the same way about tattoos. Like someone liked some word or image so much that they wanted to forever put it on their body. That's an intense kind of like to me.

(Play theme music)
TRIP TALK: So I saw your google docs and will try my best to update it a bit this weekend but if I'm being totally honest with myself I'm going to be doing most of this planning at work so I might also be sending you seperate emails with stuff. For now I started putting together a skeleton of an itinerary where we start in Copenhagen and end in Aarhus so I think we should first get the flights for to and from those places. The best time to buy flight tickets is tuesday afternoon so we should look early this week and if we like what we see book it or wait till next week and book it then.
I'm going to go to the library today and get the fordor's/lonely planet books out on Scandinavia so if I still have them in 2 weeks when I come to your house I will bring them, or you should see if you an get it too! I was telling one of my friends at work that I was going to do this and she was like, have you ever heard of the internet? But I feel there is way too much on the internet and its not there in a consolidated fashion so this should help.
The main thing we will need to watch out for is picking and choosing the things we want to do as these are cities where there is a lot to do and see so we can't overbook or burn ourselves out. Once I have a little bit more meat in my itinerary skeleton I will send it to you probably on Monday night.

You know it's funny I feel like a lot of things are happening right now and moving really fast when just a couple of months ago I was like doing nothing and wishing things would happen.  Like literally before June nothing was happening and I felt so lost and bored. So now it's very exciting that all these things are coming together but also a bit nerve wracking because I don't want to miss anything or forget to do something you know? Anyways, hope you had a great shabbos (my hiking plans fell through, go figure. But it turned out ok because I needed this day to catch up on life)!

You know you're talking to someone good because you never run out of things to say

It's funny how you start your day with me, and I end mine with you. There's something... I don't know, about it. I read this book by Stephen King called 11/22/63 about (LONG story short) a guy who goes back in time to make sure JFK never dies. He has to live in the 60s for a while and he keeps noticing what he calls these harmonies. Things from his future that are resonating in the past, kind of like echoes. That always stuck with me, but it never seems to make sense in conversation. But I want to say that you starting your day with me and me ending mine with you is harmonious in that way. I'm glad that you felt the urgent need to do it! It's funny, I spend about an hour on this most nights (Okay, so often I'm watching Friends or Parks and Rec or HIMYM or 30 Rock, but still) so it's a good thing I'm not working. Silly facebook for not notifying you. I was pretty happy with my pneumonic too...

Glad to hear your interview went well! I meant to text you, but I got sucked into a photoshop vortex trying to design artwork for my blog that doesn't exist. Naturally. It's good though that you aren't 'Eh' about it. Always a strong sign. And that you had a nice time talking with your director. At least you can assume you have one vote in your corner! It's so crazy to me the intense interviews you have to go through. My interviews are usually twenty minutes at most. If you meet more than one person it's probably because the other person didn't know they were using that room. Even for LIVE, which is more structure and part of a larger company. It must be good to hear though how different the environment is from Barclay's. Sometimes, no matter how much you try to care about the position and location and salary, all that really matters is the culture.

I've gotten a lot better at not beating myself up after interviews. Early on, I would overanalyze, think of things I should have said. I still do that, but through more of a window of knowing that what I said was good enough. I told myself the same things about tests, but that was usually a defense mechanism. Or whatever that thing in psychology is called. Cognitive dissonance? No that's not it. The thing where you tell yourself there was nothing that you could have done so that you don't feel like you let yourself down, when really you should have studied more. That thing. I had a chronic case of that in school.

You know what I was thinking today? In a somewhat serious way? How cool would it be to be a visual effects artist. It's creative and technical, but I don't know how technical it actually is. I really know nothing about it. But I watched this really cool before and after effects video of Game of Thrones and I was just like "That is so cool! I want to do that" Or animation. I've always had this idea that I can draw, even though there has never been any proof to substantiate. Just something to think about I suppose.

Thank you for the constant reminders and faith that good things are coming and that what is meant to be will happen and what doesn't happen is not meant to be. It's good to hear, especially applied to so many different things. It kind of implants it into my way of thinking in general. I like that. I did seriously have mixed feeling about this job today. The idea of having to potentially start waking up at 5am and going to work starting Friday filled me with dread. On the other hand, an 8-5 day would have given me so much more of a life at night, to see people or get dinner or whatever. There was the mixed benefit and drawback of being at LIVE again, knowing what an amazing time in my life that was and still knowing that this was not at all the same situation. In the end, it matters not. And I'm glad I didn't get it if it wasn't for me. I was also literally on my way to therapy when I got the call so I pretty much pulled an Erica and just walked into my Dr. Tom's office with my feelings. Awesome. (#WeirdReasonforExcitement) Also, "Every no you get leads you one step closer to a yes." was runner up for post title.

Sorry I made you almost cry at work. Or come as close as you would. There should be a word for sorry that doesn't mean "I wish I wouldn't have done it." Because there are apologies for something you've done and sympathy for something that simply happened. If there was another word it would really eliminate the annoying problem of saying something like "I'm sorry you have a cold" and people answering "It's not your fault." Ugh. Ticket collector sounds like such a cool job though, where you meet lots of people. I feel like ticket collectors are the only remaining nice people sometimes. Like who would expect NJ transit people to be nice? But I always found the people on the train to be lovely.

I've always loved nicknames and wanted them for myself and others, but I don't really have nicknames for any of my friends. I like Moni if you like it! But the idea of calling you that sounds weird. I guess having never met a Monisha before you, it never had a personality (ie., too serious) From now on, when I meet a Monisha, I'll have to say, "I can't call you that because you aren't awesome enough for that name." People have nicknames for me I guess. My family used to call me Jensky when I was younger, Eric calls me Gins, Amanda and Tali call me Yenna. My sister calls me Jennifer, so that's... weird. But still affectionate so I'll take it. Nicknames make you feel special and thought of for long enough to find something more personal about you. For me anyway, it makes me feel like the person who came up with kind of planted a flag saying, staking some kind of claim. "I claim a piece of this friendship pie for my own, and I'm labeling it with my own special code." So it's nice that Sid has a bunch for you!

(Weekend update intro music here)
TRIP TALK: I mean, we'll talk more about this tomorrow, but I'm good to go. We can definitely talk about booking soon (although maybe more research might be in order first. I told my friend we were thinking the last week in August and that things weren't definite, but we might be in Denmark the 25th or 26th ish. Her name is Mette by the way. Here's a link to how to pronounce it, although I usually just say Meta. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pFBkWgvwYaw I actually got a little better after watching some Danish shows. So that's cool.

I'm going to see if I can maybe find one of those "travel like a local" type books that I just invented. The good thing about going to these places is that I don't know what there is to see, so I probably won't feel like I'm missing out if we don't. It's not like going to China and doing all the local-type things but never getting to see the Great Wall of China, you know? Or vice versa really. I don't know the difference.

It's so true what you say about getting famous from blogs these days. Part of the reason I really want a (successful) blog is because of the doors they open, but I know it's hard and you have to have a really good handle on your niche and your brand. I need to carve out a niche for myself!!! Anyway, I'll be in touch tomorrow about dinner plans. Let me know what time I should aim to be in the city.

I definitely love the idea of our lives being parallel

So I'm going to go backwards as well because I just got home from my interview (it was all the way downtown in fidi and ended at 8 so I had to take the subway to port auth then catch the 9 bus home which was really annoying) and ate dinner and this just seemed like the naturally most urgent thing I had to do. This morning when I woke up I was actually wondering whether you had posted but my facebook fooled me by not giving me a notification so I though you hadn't and couldn't read this until i got to work, which was fine but I do also like starting my day with this (for you know the 1 week we've been doing it).

Anyways, important stuff now I think my interview went well but I hesitate to say that at the same time because you know I don't actually know if it went well yet or not. I always felt the same whenever people would ask me right after taking a test how I thought I did and I would never want to say how I felt because who really know what will happen in the future! I met with 4 people, 1 of which was kind of scary and 1 of which was southern and nice. The other 1 had a british accent and is hazy in my mind and the last one was my director. Meeting with my director was awesome because it wasnt really an interview more just a candid conversation. He talked mostly and told me the story of why he came and told me Barclays was a depressing place and that he much preferred working for this company so that was something. He also seemed to like me so thats a good sign but he did say that all the people have to vote for me to be able to get an offer so thats a bit scary. Anyways it will be what it will be. I have to say though that I never really get super antsy about jobs like I used to about tests. My sister said it was the opposite for her which baffles my mind because for a test you know you could have studied more or paid more attention in class but for an interview it really just comes down to whether they like you enough to think you can do the job or not. And I've always firmly believed that whatever is meant to happen will happen and if a certain job is not meant to be in my life then I won't get it and that's that so I think the whole job thing has never been super scary for me which is good.

In any case, for trip purposes I think we can go ahead with our plans like normal and if it ends up being a hurdle we will see to it when we get there but no use spoiling our present by banking on the future.

It's funny when you wrote welcome to 5am it reminded me of my sister because my sister works for a company called 5am solutions. I am glad you wrote to me before you found out. I'm not sure how you're feeling about the whole job thing but like I said before I genuinely believe that what is meant to happen will happen and this if anything is a great sign for london. Every no you get leads you one step closer to a yes.

Thank you for everything you wrote about my grandpa's email. I have to say it was a slight leap of faith for me to include it just because it was so personal to me and I was just being too protective of it, but I wanted to share it because I just wanted someone else to see how amazing it was. But your response on it was perfect I even got a little teary when I read it (sitting at work on my desk..yea.)
My family members do not call me Moni they call me Monisha. Which means he was probably the only person in my family to ever call me that which is interesting. I didn't even think of that until you mentioned it. When Sid and I first started talking he told me he would call me Moni because Monisha sounded too serious for me. It got blended in with a slew of other nicknames along the way but yea thought I would share and see what you thought about that.
My grandpa was a ticket collector on the train. I remember being really little and feeling like a celebrity every time I went with him on a train (after he retired) because all the other ticket collectors knew him and would say hi.

I totally get the displaced-ness. To be honest I would say I felt way more displaced in April and May than I do now but I think thats just how it goes. Sometimes the best you can do is just wait and focus on bettering your present.

I never read The Face on the Milk Carton but I did watch the abc family movie on it and never knew that it was also a book. Its funny though I still remember a lot of the movie and find myself thinking back to it just because it was so creepy and cool.

I'm glad you liked the WaitButWhy I honestly feel like everyone needs to read that post and internalize it. He does have long posts but at least he has some pictures along the way. It's funny he has a post about procrastination and he talks about how long it takes him to write his posts.

And omg I keep meaning to tell you how I've suddenly become obsessed with the World Cup and feel like an imposter because I normally hate sports.But you are right! Who cares! I can watch football if I want to and I can call it football or futbol if I want to because it makes me happy. To be honest even I myself am amazed how into it I am but I guess all that will end in a couple days after the final is over.Who have I become.

Ok TRIP TALK (you ever feel like this is a seprate segment of our posts like the news update in SNL or something? You say we aren't that cool and shouldn't compare our blog to SNL? PISH POSH)

OK for REAL TRIP TALK: I think last week in Aug is fine it will nice to have the extra day of labor day too. I think you should tell your friend we are planning that week so she doesnt make any other plans or leave for France again. So glad you love the 3 country plan! I like packed trips and seeing many different places (again as long as its well planned) so this should be exciting! I may go and get out a book on Scandanavia from the library this week although to be completely honest I read a lot of things about places I know and none of them makes any sense to me. Its like if someone who knew nothing about NYC came to NYC and decided to do all the touristy things when in reality there might be way more non-touristy things that they would've enjoyed way better you know? I suppose its all a chance you take but it never hurts to do the research. I did mean July 26th by the way. Hopefully by then we have a somewhat plan set and can start looking at flights? I just dont want to delay too much and end up spending way more than we have to. I need to figure out some google doc type thing I can also access at work so I can show you the links I look at.

Yea the politics thing happened gradually over time and I have the Skimm to thank for a lot of it. But I try and keep up and be a generally good caring citizen. I cant say I have strong opinions on anything still but at least now I know what I don't have opinions on.

So I started to read The Goldfinch a while ago and couldnt get through it but hopefully you will be able to. That copy is monstrous. It looks like it wants to eat you. I'm reading Sue Monk Kidd's new book which I can't seem to remember the name of right now but its alright. Lets hope I can finish this one.

Matilda looks awesome! I really want to see it too. That does seem like an awful lot of stress for the tickets but at least you were actually able to get them and see the show! This woman in my gym class was saying how she has a blog where she critiques bway shows (apparently she's seen all of them) and is trying to get popular enough that they ask her to be on some committee on broadway or something ( I was eavesdropping on someone else's conversation. sue me.) But anyways its crazy how all people need to do to get famous these days is write a blog. It seems too simple.

It's silly I just wrote every detail in my life in here when I'm going to be seeing you tomorrow and yet it feels like I still have so much to say. But I guess that's when you know you're talking to someone good because you never run out of things to say.

Study well and carve a niche for yourself

Welcome to 5am. By the time I'm writing and posting this it's actually later than 5am. But I did wake up at 5am to take my mom to the airport so she can go to St. Louis. Going back to sleep is an option, but I now have a solid few hours of me time before my dad gets back from his annual "camping" trip. Also, last night I got a call from Barbara, my would-be boss at Live if I got the job. I called her back too late and I feel like she'll call first thing so I don't want to be asleep or just-woke-up-y on the phone when she calls so I'm writing to you instead. Also, it somehow seems vital to write this before I find out for sure about the job and my life and circumstances change completely. I'll let you know what happens.

I decided to write this post backwards, topic wise, because my brain is just warming up, and I think what you wrote about your grandfather was touching and beautiful and what he wrote was as well. First off, do your family members call you Moni? Because that's definitely something I needed to know, like, 5 years ago. It's so admirable, like you said, that your grandfather put so much emphasis on bettering himself, learning the computer and focusing on writing. What did he do? There is such an eloquence to his words and phrasing, that it was a little like reading The Great Gatsby. Not to mention that the parts about the oldest photographs are really interesting historically. It's so cool to think that people remember things like the first photo taken of them. It's crazy when you think about or Iphone age. Hannah had about a million photos taken of her before she was even a day old. Thanks for sharing that with me.

I definitely love the idea of our lives being parallel, and I understand exactly what you're saying about not feeling productive after a day watching TV. Sometimes, even when I feel it's what I need, I just end up all grumpy if I stay inside doing nothing. This is an absurd departure from who I was two years ago, not quite looking that hard for a job after college. Granted, I still wasn't really looking for a job because I don't necessarily feel ready to go back to work (because seriously. work.), but I've been more productive in my off time, working on London, reading more. And to be honest, I've been a lot less contented with moseying around. I've felt displaced, in flux, as I've expressed to you countless times over the last several weeks.

When I started working full-time and had no time for my shows, I had the same thought about being able to watch more TV living in the city. But that seems emptier now, and I'd rather use the convenience of location to see people more and do things! So yes, I am going to cut back. Even if I did start watching a new show last night. It's a silly MTV show though, so I don't know if it counts. Did you ever read The Face on the Milk Carton when you were a kid? I don't know why, but I always forget about it for long periods of time, and when I remember it, I remember how obsessed I was with it when I was younger. It's about a girl who sees her face as a child on a milk carton saying Have you seen this girl? or whatever. She discovers that her "parents" aren't really her parents, that a woman kidnapped her and that woman's parents have been raising her, unaware that she wasn't simply their granddaughter. Anyway, this show has a similar plot and I just couldn't NOT.

I read the waitbutwhy, but damn why does he have to write such long blogs posts. It was definitely less depressing and obviously extremely relatable. I loved the cartoon with the thoughts of the person singing. That's exactly why karaoke makes me nauseous. A lot of the parts of recognizing and taming the mammoth are things I feel I've gained from therapy over the years, so that's good. I always feel like I'm right at the beginning of my journey to understanding and overcoming stuff like that, but when I look back to where I was in high school, I actually think I've come pretty far. I also think it's funny because throughout the world cup, I feel like all people are posting about is "why are people pretending they care about soccer? You don't know anything about soccer blah blah..." and in reality, it's like, who cares? Watch it if you like it. In any case, it was a worthwhile read, so thanks.

TRIP TALK: You're not overwhelming me yet. Detail is great. I'll let you know if it gets out of hand. Early August is crazy. If you're willing to do the last week in August that might be best. Obviously, I'll let you know if/how Live affects all this, but I'm thinking of telling them that the trip is already planned? I don't want them to tell me I can't do it. And just for the sake of argument, assuming I do get the job, a week later would be better because I would have a slightly longer settling in period. So, if you're on board with that then I am too. Your plan about starting in Denmark, doing Aarhus, Stockholm, Oslo, and the fjords sounds great to me actually. I like the idea of doing those cool, different cities but also doing something nature-y. I'd go for that, and then based on research and planning, if it doesn't seem practical or possible, we can adjust. I'm going to need to really think before I pack. Also did we say you're coming coming to me July 26th? Because then you said August in your last post so I just wanted to clarify. Not that I ever have plans, but my luck I'll accidentally make them when you're coming. Better to ask.

Good luck with your interview!!! I SO get that feeling of dread, so it's GREAT that you don't feel it for this one. I hope you continue to be interested in it. And it is funny (or quirky or whatever) that you'll be interviewed by your old director. Hope that helps you! If you decided you want it to, that is.

It's funny what you said about politics. I didn't know you started caring about that stuff! I always try and steer clear of it with you, though in some ways I think I don't even notice how built in to my brain it is, so I'm sure I've never been that great at avoiding it. But the reason it's funny is that recently, tow of my close high school friends told me they've never voted and one of them wasn't even registered. I got so mad about this and spent longer than they would have cared for trying to convince them the many reason it was important. I was shocked though, that people with my relative personality and upbringing could care so little about this. And no matter how much I hear about "kids these days," it was the first time I truly felt the apathy.

I'm currently reading a book called The Goldfinch, which got so many good reviews, I kind of felt like I had to. The library sent me the large print edition though, so it's absurdly large. Luckily, I have it on my Nook also. Here is what it looks like:

RIGHT? I'm not sure how well you can tell, but it basically looks like the bible.

I saw Matilda this weekend. My mom and I took advantage of our girl time while my dad was away and went into the city to see if we could win the lottery for the 3pm show. Naturally we didn't, but they told us if we waited around, they would open up the remaining tickets for $42, so we went for it. We stood in the tiny lobby of the theater for two hours, not realizing that they would "open the tickets up" until RIGHT before the show. The whole thing was pretty dumb because we were crowded up the entrance as people with tickets started to come in and the ushers were really rude and all "What are you doing here?" I found this odd and worrisome- wasn't this something that happened every show? Could they maybe figure out a better system? Then they waited until the show was basically starting to sell us the tickets. At the beginning of a show, there is a seating hold for the first number, where people who come in late have to stand in the back and after the first number, the ushers take them to their seats. They sold us the tickets so late, that we had to wait for the seating hold. WHY? We'd been there going on 3 hours.

The whole thing ended up amusing because we actually did get to see it, and I really liked it too, so it was all worth it. I even got my mom to take a picture without putting up a fight! Then we went out to a nice restaurant and went shopping. On the way home, I saw random fireworks and convinced her to chase them. By the time we found where they'd been, they seemed to have stopped, but I was glad I got to see them in the car and it was just one of those really lovely, perfectish days.

Good luck with your interview! I'll probably call or text you later at some point.