These are not permanent decisions Jenna

Happy Snow Day!

You're right I also feel we have been talking more frequently so I also did not know it had been a month but I was happy to find a bowl waiting for me! It was also such a nice surprise having you stay over last week. When I was in LA my friend and I were talking about our idea of a perfect day and we both agreed that it would have to be a day where amazing things happened unexpectedly. Like a friend you weren't expecting dropping by or a sudden snow day. One of the days I still remember being a perfect day was that sudden snow day we had our sophomore year at Rutgers. I just remember I had no hw because I did all of it the night before and all classes were cancelled and we played in the snow and went sledding on brower trays.

Today was a pretty good snow day as well. My whole team worked from home so it was pretty relaxed. Its funny that we got nowhere near as much snow as we were expecting and yet everyone was like still nope no takebacks we are still going to treat this like a snow day regardless.
I stopped being in the mood to pretend to work at like 4 so I went to take a walk in Central Park and it was just so nice to see everyone enjoying the snow and dogs wearing little shoes and kids making snow angels. It was like a scene from Arthur or something.

Side note Im eating this kosher chocolate right now called Elite and its really really good.

Ok now on to you. I will say a convenient location is incredibly underrated and its also one of those things you start taking for granted within like an hour. However I do also understand your feelings about money. I would say if you are in a good place with your savings and are making a regular paycheck which you feel can subsidize the cost of your rent then choose location. However if you do still want to save more then choose money because you're right you did make it in New Brunswick and its not like you would be coming home late every single night.

I really think the "These are not permanent decisions Jenna!" needs to be like framed somewhere where you can see it at all times of the day. Like seriously, putting down a list of the things you want to do on a website is pretty much the further thing away from a binding contract that would obligate you to do those things. Maybe not the furthest thing. Just saying it out loud would probably be even further but you get my point.  I will send you my list by the way its on my work computer.

I'm glad you feel relieved about Peru because I would have felt terrible if you did not. Also one of the main reasons I was ok telling you it wasnt the right time is because I knew it wasnt the right time for you too. So it made me feel not as selfish. I mean you are right that if we did go through with it we wouldve had an amazing time but then maybe you wouldnt have Purim at home or another job lined up and maybe I wouldnt do as well on my GMATs, etc. The opportunity cost of going just seemed to high. I do want to emphasize though that I still definitely want to go, just not right now. So maybe after youre doing traversing the continent of Europe we can talk about it again. I'm also really glad that Europe feels so right for you. I know what it feels like to have a strong feeling about something and have it work out and Im glad you are having that experience. 

I think Im in less of a panic mode now. Maybe because I finally have some semblance of a plan for the future. Now I just need to actually start studying. My apartment is really not a great environment for this. I think I took for granted how many great places there were to study around Rutgers because all of a sudden it seems like I have NOWHERE to go to study. I think Ill just start going into work early but considering I am really not a fan of that place this idea does not thrill me. But hey if I get a stellar score then it will all be worth it in the end. Also I do think studying for this thing won't be so bad mainly because I always liked doing math and I kind of miss it since I dont get to do anything like it at work. Also because I get to focus on something non-financey which is also nice. So as an answer to your question-- yes I do feel much better about having decided to take GMAT classes. I don't quite know what it was but I just knew it had to be now that I did this. I haven't had this strong of a gut feeling about anything in the past year so thats good at least.

Now on to blogging. I think you kind of hit the nail on the head when you said, I could do it if I wanted. Yes you most definitely could but I think thats exactly what sets successful bloggers apart. Because while many COULD do it, they are the one who actually DO it. I mean yes it would be a lot of work with a full time job, and most definitely would take dedication and a huge time commitment but hey if its something you are passionate about and want to see happen then those things won't seem like such a big deal after a while. I also think it would be a gradual process where its not like it would be a big part of your life from day 1, but would be something that slowly became a big part of your life. And maybe at that point even if you did get sick of following social media you would be able to keep it in context with all the positive things your blogging did for you.

I agree with your remark that starting a new career at the bottom two years from now does not sound fun. But ultimately if we are working for 40-50 years of our life, a measly 2 years is nothing! Its a glitch at best. And if those two years in between helped you reach your end goal then I hardly think they are a waste. I know I might sound a little hippy with my life is a journey shpeal but hey its true. Life IS a journey. Nothing is permanent. Theres no such thing as settling down. And mistakes are just nessecary bumps in the road which helps you get further along than you realize.

I would be down for starting a blog together. I agree that having another person makes it more fun and keeps you more accountable and I definitely did say I wanted to write more so I will not turn down an opportunity to do so.

I don't think blogging takes away from your ability to enjoy and live in the moment. I think its similar to taking photos. Something when Im taking pictures I wonder if im not living in the moment by doing so but ultimately I think you need a moment where you are able to soak in your surroundings and the moment that you are in and then you take the photo so that you can remenisce and relive that moment. I think blogging is much the same where you not only get to live in the moment but also relive it.

So for birthday shabbos Im thinking maybe next weekend (Feb 7)? Weather depending ofcourse. The next couple weekends after that I have family stuff going on due to my sisters impending baby shower (do you like how I say it as if its impending doom or something? Im actually quite excited I have to think of decorations). But if feb 7 doesnt work then we can figure something out. As for Sacred Chow I am pretty much free most weekdays except Monday. I would propose a wednesday so let me know if that works for you. We really need to use that before it expires because I have a terrible habit of buying groupons and then letting them expire.

I think thats pretty much the whole story there. 

Holy crap, it's been almost a month

I had no idea it's been that long. I think it's because we've been texting a lot more, and I think we even video chatted and had dinner during that month, so the good news is that we are out of touch because we are in touch! ... Makes sense in my head.

Thanks again for letting me crash the other night. I'm really starting to thinking I'm underestimating the importance of convenient location. Maybe I shouldn't be putting money ahead of that in my priorities. Or maybe it's a good thing that I am? Because even being able to go to the heights at that hour the other night would have been closer, but it would have involved traveling to that neighborhood late at night. On the one hand, I survived New Brunswick, which wasn't always the safest place at night. On the other hand, I spent four years in New Brunswick! I'm kind of over it.

You should send me your bucket list websites, even though my first instinct is to be anxious an wonder "what if I change my mind about these things??" THESE ARE NOT PERMANENT DECISIONS JENNA! It should be said that I am REALLY, truly, trying to get that into my head, but it's taking it's sweet time getting there.

I have to say I feel relieved about Peru. I think you're right. It just wasn't the right time. It's an amazing feeling to be right about something like that, you know. And technically, you were the one to actually do something about it, but I like the idea of calling out something that just doesn't feel right and doing something to change it. It's not such a big deal in this case, because in the end, if we'd gone through with it, we'd have still had an amazing time in Peru I'm sure. But it's a good lesson for life, and I try to pick those up where I can these days.

My brain is in a similar place in terms of "panic mode" lately. Not knowing what I'm doing, what I should be doing, if I should change my direction and how to be sure of a new direction. Do you feel any better having decided to take the GMAT class? It seems like a solid decision and a definite way to move toward a path. It seems like the kind of thing that would make you feel a little better. I keep thinking about blogging, because it pervades every news feed of every social media application. How are there so many people who are doing this? I mean it's a lot of work with a full time job, right?

Here are my two thoughts on the matter in no particular order.
1. I could do it if I wanted. I could put in the effort and make a blog that would eventually see a profit if I really want to. I think you just need to put the time and energy in if you really want to make it successful. But what if I put in this investment and decide in a year that I am so damn sick of following social media and being plugged in every second? I know, I know. This is not a permanent decision. But I stand by the fact that changing careers now is one of the last chances I'll have to get it right in a timely fashion. Two years from now starting a new career at the bottom just does NOT sound fun. And this is is the thought hanging over my head with every career option I consider.
2. We should start a blog together. Half the work, twice the fun! It could be like this, where we are writing to each other about our travels and stuff in New York and 20something crises. Minus the personal stuff. I know it's still a lot of work, but wouldn't it be more fun/more accountability with someone else? And it would help you write more!
3. Do you think blogging takes away from your ability to enjoy and live in the moment. Not that I particularly do that anyway, but I feel like if you're always worried about how experiences translate into content, that could become a problem.

Just thoughts, not even an actual proposal. I felt like bowl would be a good way to get my mind straight after feeling like my weekend was disappearing without any productivity. Alas, I think that would probably require a bowl response.

Let me know about that birthday shabbos!!! Or any Shabbos that you want to come (Sabrina will be here the 21st, but other than that...) Also, we should find a time to go to Sacred Chow.