Classtime/Passtime

So I was thinking about our conversation last night. Not any of the important ones, just the one where you were trying to figure if you knew the RA I met. I was thinking about how sometimes you (people in general) assume you're going to know people because you have some peripheral mutual affiliation, but the truth is it's probably unlikely that you actually know them. As a New Yorker at Rutgers, this happens a lot to me when people know a Jew from Queens. I really just assume I'll know them even though I probably don't. And then when I don't, I don't say "Oh, that's weird, how could I not know who that is?" I say "Hm... nope, don't know her... I actually really only know about 4% of the Jews in Queens anyway." I just think that's strange.

What's also strange is how many professors preach their beliefs under the guise of teaching you to be a free thinker. I have two teachers like this at the moment, well kind of three, but the main two I'm thinking of are at opposite ends of the political spectrum (and the stupidity spectrum) anyway so I guess it balances out. What I hate is that my cognition teacher makes me so much angrier than the other professor. Because here I am, in class, writing this post and listen to him lecture about how there isn't a soul. He's entitled to his belief. According to him, I'm entitled to mine too... assuming of course that I know my opinion is wrong. Like "Think what you want, but just FYI what you think is, like, ridiculously incorrect."

I should be doing my film homework. I'm so tired though. I stayed up til 3something last night looking at classes. I think I might have figured out a way to do the internship but it means putting off math yet again (and therefore ending up taking it senior year). It means taking an online class. And it means taking an Honors seminar. I would have a 9:50 3hour on both Monday and Wednesday, a MW 1:10- 2:30 honors seminar (in the Brett Seminar room :/), and then a MW 4:30-5:50. That's 4 classes. The online class would be by appt. obviously.

• Problem A. The 3 hour on Monday is Screenwriting... It's not the Writing for television section that I thought I would take which isn't the hugest deal except I can't find a revue for the Professor- never comforting... the only way around this is the 3hour on a friday- which doesn't seem advisable.
• Problem B. Two 3 hours- also not the biggest deal in the world, but I just would like to point out that 3 hours are loooooong periods of time.
• Problem C. An Online class- what if it's a lot of work and I don't have time?
• Problem D. A film class with a screening at 6:10 on Wed. Night- We might change Kol Halayla rehearsal to Wed. night so this would leave me with approximately enough time to watch movies and maybe eat dinner before KH- just a long day- 9:50am-11pm pretty much straight. Yikes.
• Problem E. The seminar seems interesting (ish) and I do still need Honors classes, but sometimes they're more work than their worth. Animal Studies- not necessarily what it sounds like... 

But I think all of these problems are just cover-ups for the real problem: Do I really want to have an internship two days a week? Isn't it crazy to be on a 7:15 am bus in the morning for a net of probably something like $100 a week?  Will I be crazy busy all the time? Will I have time for Kol Halayla? Do I want to leave my math class for senior year? Will I be able to get all of the work done? Will I hate it?

Just for the sake of balance, here are the Pros

• No friday classes- I'm hoping this would kind of balance out the too busy thing
• Holy crap, I actually only have class two days a week
• I'll get to be in the city- I love to be in the city...
• Hopefully I'll be doing something I really enjoy with people I enjoy
• I'll be getting yet another experience from this industry- more experience gives me more of an idea of what I want or don't want to do with my life. It gives me more to think about, opens my mind up to more options for the future...

Thoughts?

hairspray makes me feel fabulous

Ok so im back to being happy again, its mainly because my exam is over, this week is far far far better than last one was my hair is straight and i get to leave to see you in approximately 15 min! And if thats not exciting then I dont know what is. Oh and did I mention I can actually go to ballroom tonight and not feel guilty that im not studying for an exam the next day. Man, stupid school. Can i still drop out and come live in your closet because I would love that right about now.
Im so glad your birthday went well, and maybe youre just becoming older and wiser now. I always try to not expect too much out of people on my birthday because I dont want to be let down and I havent been let down that many times or anything but still, it always seemed like the mature thing to do was not to ask people to do things for you and just let them do what they wanted to but lately im starting to think the opposite that its better to just let people know what you want from them and if they can do it great and if they cant well that sucks but hopefully they can, but its a much better chance of it happening if they know in any case. But yea the anxiety level would def be less in turning 21 but I guess I will let you know in about 3 months . Oh man you can do all sorts of cool things now! Like go to those concerts. Yay.
So today in my ethical leadership class which is a bs class btw because we sit around and talk about our feelings and hold hands and sing kumbaya ok not really but something like that but we were talking about having key people in your life and how important it is to being a happy and healthy person and Id like to think Im ok at being a happy and healthy person and its def because of key people like you that i can be like that, and honestly times when im stressing out or going insane its hard to remember that. like you ever notice how its wayy easier to get perspective on things when youre happy to begin with. yea. but whatever its all good now, and i cant wait to see you and i wish id seen that birthday list before getting you your present but oh well youll see soon enough, and hey theres nondenominational winter holidays right around the corner. Remember doing secret santa last year? Its funny to think how far weve come in one year. We still got each other though. Im getting all sentimental because Jen's currently playing one of those songs, oh you know "those" songs. yea right you got it.
Anyways time to leave to go see you! Whee.

On Free Stuff and Birthdays

I'm finally having a light week and it feels wonderful. This is not to rub it in, since there is a full book I should be reading (for next tuesday) and eventually I'll have to get to it. But I've been enjoying the relaxing nature of an hour here and an hour there. I hope I get to see you tomorrow because this is sad face. That's right. I went there.

My birthday is now about 5 days past and I'm sad it's gone but it was a good one. Last year was 20 and I found it incredibly stressful. It's nice being able to reflect back and learn that it wasn't the getting older every year part that was giving me panic attacks.  It was leaving a stage of my life, which has never been easy for me anyway. 21 was not as difficult. I know it's a big deal because of blah blah blah but I don't really drink and I don't really gamble and the greatest thing was being able to enter the bowling alley at my house after 8pm on saturday night (the have 21+ nights). I also can't wait to go to a 21+ concert. Because I have horrible luck with being able to go to concerts and this is just one more barrier broken down between Jenna and the next time Boyce Avenue is in NYC. But the reason I was happy about the lack of panic attacks for 21 was that I love my birthday. When I was freaking out last year, I was worried that this was it, that I couldn't enjoy my birthday anymore. I was afraid that my carefree birthday glory days were over. I stressed about who to spend it with, how to make everyone happy, and most of all how I could possibly make myself happy under the circumstances of getting older and being in a place in life where I felt short on people to whom I connected (/run on sentence). Looking back, I don't think there was anything that could've made it easier. I don't think it was one of those things where I could've been happier if... Honestly, I stress about things, it's what I do. And as stressful things go, I think in that case it was warranted.

But this year was nice. Maybe I've learned to love the people around me a little more. Maybe having the new spheres of life (house, journalism etc.) is good for me. Maybe it's just that I wasn't ending a decade. Maybe I was just more laid back about everything being "special" for my birthday. I don't know what it was but I sat back and enjoyed. I got an Entertainment Weekly subscription, an AMC gift card, and from my mom--- ADOBE INDESIGN!!! I hope I have time to install it tomorrow. I'm so excited to be playing around with it. I also got some cash and 21 scratch off lotto tickets that I haven't finished scratching. Also a little purple pillow that says "Crown Royal" (from Eric's company). Oh and a target gift card. I think that's probably all.

Point of the story is that birthdays are weird because they make you reflect and think about where you've been, where you are, and where you're going. For an anxiety-ridden college student, those are humongous things to think about. I don't- can't- blame myself for freaking out. I just need to take some deep breaths and eat me some chocolate. See you tomorrow!

<3 J

In the midst of the bridge...

YAYY!!! Happy Jenna makes me happy too! But serious thats fantastic! And yea sorry for not being so great about posting but life is busy and blah blah blah but I will see you today and we can recreate some roomate birthday magic! Even if I can't make a rocket and attach it to your wall so it can keep falling down all year long. But Im so happy that we were roomates so I can know you when youre famous and point out articles you wrote to our kids when they're growing up and then we can save them and frame them for decorating our apartment in paris with the balcony. you know that one...right.
So this week has been extra stressful but it got a little better last night when despite my better judgement I decided to go to ballroom dancing even though I had an exam at 8:40 this morning but hey you only live once right. So we learned the foxtrot which I really like because I picked it up real easy and its actually easier than the waltz cuz theres less turning and more just like gliding and gliding is fun. But anyways after the lesson theres like a mini social thing where they just play music and let you practice what you learned and not only did I make a new friend but also I was dancing with one of the guys from the team and he told me I should think about trying out for the team next semester!!! So obviously that made my night and week and life. Especially since yesterday I was thinking Iv been having such a crappy time with classes and rha had been so stressful this week that I just needed some good news or a pick me up.
But I like happy us. Happy us is good. Why arent we happy more often. oh thats right classes and other crap.

Meanwhile the title of this entry is because I just finished one of my exams and I have another major one on monday which I have to start studying for ack. Remember when I used to get good grades and be smart? heh.

Back to positives though! I don't know what your plans are tonight but hopefully we can hang out a little bit after dinner if not thats fine too, oh and Ill bring my(aka jen's old) camera (its just a regular digital not a fancy one but still good) and we can take pictures and pretend to be a couple again. Thats always fun isnt it.

When I was younger I used to pretend my life was a book and different stages in life would be an ending, if that was the case we would be in 6th book in the series by now. More people watch movies than read books though.*shrug*--> thats me typing out an action. laugh out loud.

Rising to the Occasion

I realized that I don't have to wait for you to post again. We didn't really make any kind of rule against double posting. Not sure why we would. The number one rule of Bowl is there are no rules. Stupid cliche. I'm writing because I said I was going to go to bed. Only I'm not tired. I got my article back- first draft on the overcrowding article- and I got a B+ which is fantastic. He said "But I thought you had this kind of talent, Jenna, and it’s coming out in a big display" in his comments to me. I'm sorry. I don't mean to obnoxiously brag, but I'm kinda glowing here. 

The semester started out with me fearing this class... knowing- just knowing- I would hate it. I began both of my assignments with two hours of "I'm terrible at this! I hate this style! I hate this format! I can't do it! This is not my strong suit!" I am just super proud of myself for challenging myself and succeeding. It's not like me to do something like that. Obviously, I'm getting ahead of myself. There's still most of the semester left and I have to keep it up, but I just wanted to tell you about the happiness in my life with this grade. Because sometimes the things you think you want aren't the things that you'll end up wanting. And sometimes htings that are hard end up being rewarding. And all that cheesy stuff. 

In other news, I can't believe this whole Chile mine thing. It's just. So. Incredible. 

Enjoy this happy Jenna. Who knows how often she visits... 

"In-A-Movie" Romanticism

It's good that you reminded me to do this because, despite my exhaustion, I'm actually in the perfect mood.

Here's what's on my mind (one of the things):

Things are painted in a much better way in the movies. Picture this- A group of friends. They are having a great time. The music is some kind of alternative rock blasting but it is still background. There are low shots of them. We see bright lights, sequined clothes, somewhat attractive young boys and girls screaming because it feels good to be young and let yourself go for a night and not have to worry about responsibilities. You smile as you watch it and you feel a little jealous even because they are having such a great time.

Now imagine... You are in your room. Doing nothing special, not really that focused on anything. Chilling. Watching TV. Maybe you've just gotten into bed. And these dumbass obnoxious college students are freaking screaming outside and laughing their heads off like someone told the joke of the century or something. Your neighbors seem to have some kind of speaker system rigged outdoors. The walls of your bedroom are unbelievably thin. Even though you're on the second floor, it feels like they're in your bedroom.

Seriously, I do often picture my life as some kind of production. Truth is that in really life, that is not something I admire. Maybe that's not true. It takes a certain kind talent to be able to completely disregard the needs or wants of the world around you. Actually they aren't that loud to night but I was just thinking about how movies can sometimes be misleading that way.