First, the publishing meeting. Well, actually first the information that the interview for the development position never happened. On Friday, the guy emailed to say Monday was actually looking a little too busy, could I do Tuesday or Wednesday. I said no, that I was actually going to be out of town. (I had told him this already. Not that I think he should have remembered, I just want the record to show that I'd been upfront from before he'd told me to come in.) He said oh, right. When will you be back. I said I have a family obligation (not totally untrue) and that I'd be back the 13th. He never answered. I waited about 4 hours and sent another email. Just saying Hey, wanted to follow up. I'm happy to work with your timeline in any way I can, maybe we can skype? Stuff like that... He never answered. So that was mainly upsetting because of its rudeness I think. I mean contact had already been established. We'd talked on the phone. We'd emailed. It wouldn't have taken even a full minute to reply with a simple "Actually, we need someone sooner than that." I would have understood.
Now on to the publishing meeting. It was all for the best really because this gave me more time to pack in the morning and get on my way. Not enough time to eat breakfast or remember my camera apparently, but that's what you get when you pack last minute (Literally). I got there just in time. The building (Broadway between 55 and 56- awesome location from Queens sine it's like the third subway stop in Manhattan, but whatever) had books in the lobby all along the walls when you walked in. It was awesome. I signed in and brought my luggage up to the 8th floor where this girl, Karen, works. Normally, I would have thought this was too unprofessional. But she's a friend of a friend and a fellow religious Jew and I had discussed it with her beforehand, so it was fine.
There were books everywhere. And I mean, popular books. RandomHouse apparently publishes everything ever. So I'm walking past numerous copies of books i've read, grown up with. Books that have been turned into movies recently. Books that have won awards. Books that have sold hundreds of thousands of copies. She took me into an office that wasn't being used (covered in books- The Book Thief is a book you should read by the way, if you haven't already. We were in the office of the woman who had edited that book.) We talked for over an hour. She talked to me about different departments, which ones are a good foot in the door, things I should be learning more about, what skills she used, and what her day to day is like. Mercifully, she did not give me the frustratingly unhelpful answer of "Well, I like to say, every day here is different and that's what's so great about it." Tell me what you frickin' do dammit!
She was really helpful, and she clearly loves her job a lot. It sounds great actually. Less pressured than what I do now, flexible, creative, you get to read all day, your opinions get heard, it's collaborative. It sounds great. Because this is a big life decision, I'm a little wary of falling in love with her descriptions since she's so in love with the job. She was honest about the downsides, but I still feel like I need other perspectives. The main downside: Money. This is laughable since I made so little at Chopped, but I've moved up considerably since then and could probably get even more at my next gig depending on what that ends up being. But she has been there over a year and will be making her starting salary in the mid 30s for the foreseeable future. That's no-so-great, needless to say. And it's all fine and good to say that I'll try something and see if I like it, but this is the type of thing that's a long term career. You're putting in the work that will pay off in ten years' time maybe. Which is a good thing, in responsible adult world but a. scares the crap out of me, and b. What if I don't like it? How long do I stay until I know it's wrong? I mean with TV you can get a couple jobs for a few months each and gradually learn the industry. Not that I feel like I've cracked a fraction of it. But with a long term, full time job, you really need to put in the time to learn the industry and whatever. And it could be great, but it could also be two years from now before I know it and suddenly I'm 27 and still have no idea what I want to do with my life.
The most relevant downside: It's hard to break into. Her point- It's not like accounting where every year they hire 100 new employees. They only hire when they need someone, and it's competitive. She happens to have gotten lucky and fallen into a dream job. Children's and Young Adult at RandomHouse. I mean, it's heaven. But landing there, in that department is about the farthest thing that exists from a foregone conclusion. Especially when I'm competing with people who have actual publishing experience (although I do really think that my skills are pretty transferable to this career in a lot of ways- and having real work experience has to count for something, even if it's in the wrong industry)
I don't mean to focus on the negative here, since I did spend most of Monday, really, really focused on the positives. It sounds amazing. And I got free books. They have a whole wall of free books. As many books as you could ever want. All kinds of books. It was wonderful. She was saying she stops by that shelf before every Shabbos. I mean, I'm in love with the place. But I'm also in love with... whatever, The Good Wife, and where I landed in TV is nowhere near that, you know. And a career change is a big frickin deal. Starting from scratch is a big deal. Settling for less money when I really need to be moving out on my own is certainly a bigger deal that it would have been right out of college. Sometimes, you really do need to think practically. And while none of these things is a dealbreaker, they are things that need to be thought through. At a certain age (and I do realize this age isn't necessarily 25), you can't just "try whatever and see if you like it" at every moment without thinking it through. Although the flip side, is maybe I need a little less thinking through in my life.
How is it that I struggle forever trying to hit 2000 words in my novel and here I can get to 1500 without even thinking, and keep on going.
On to your post- I felt the same way about the Cabaret wiki. It totally made a lot of sense, like when you read the description for a ballet instead of just relying on your brain to interpret the storyline. Yeah, no. Not going to work. I still like my illusion theory, and I think it works with what is actually going on. It's such a pretentious theory, but I still like it.
You must absolutely come for Shabbos again when I get back. We shall discuss! And actually, the holidays are mainly over if you're referring to Jewish holidays. The Jewish calendar month right now is called Cheshvan and its nickname is "Mar Cheshvan", which means "Bitter Cheshvan" because there are no holidays in the whole month and it's coming off of a month where there were so many (Tishrei, my birthday month.) The next month is Kislev (like Kiss-Layv), when we have Chanukah, but that's not until the 25th of the month. And here ends your Jewish calendar lesson. I hope you enjoyed it. But the bottom line is, yes, we'll figure out a time for a Shabbos visit.
I want to emphasize that the point of me sharing these stories of equally lost people is because I feel the exact same way, that I'm lost while other people know what's going on and seem to be managing at a higher, more functional level than I am. Which is why it is refreshing and a relief to find that that's not necessarily the case at all. I should do a poll or something of twenty somethings nationwide. I wonder how to go about doing that. It would be great to hear people's stories.
Hello from Hannahbear by the way. This morning, I started singing her a song where the words are basically "I love the Hannahbear" three times and then "She's so (cute, sweet, smart)" and I guess it's catchy since she's been singing it all morning and dancing around the living room. Here's a picture of her climbing through where the sink should be in her toy kitchen. Her reaction? "I stuck!"
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