I don't know how an entire week goes by and my brain just keeps saying, "That was basically yesterday, so you're good." But the good news is we've actually texted a fair bit, so that's nice, and it makes it seem like it hasn't been so long.
I've also been really trying to do NaNoWriMo writing. And by 'really trying', I mean the kind of really trying I did when I had to write a paper in school. Write a line. Find a million things worth looking on the internet. It's really problematic because I got so far behind in St. Louis that now a bad day here or there just brings me closer to not finishing. Like I'm really behind. And every time I write I just think "Wow. This is terrible." The important thing is that I feel like I get the importance of revision. And I keep telling myself that this step is really just about getting words on the paper. They don't even have to make sense! But the downside to that is that most of it doesn't really make sense. I jump around in time, I change tenses based on my mood... I changed a character's profession halfway through and then pretty much eliminated her. I'm fairly certain this is all part of the process but a. it really can drive you crazy and b. I'm still SO FAR BEHIND. I had a really good reason to not write in St. Louis. But now my reason is that it's been a while since I could spend my days under the blanket in front of a TV. And my hand have really been hurting. Objectively, that one is a good reason, but my brain is sick of the whining so it's just like "DEAL WITH IT AND SHUT UP!" Whoooaaaa, calm down there crazy rant.
Have you heard back about the next round of that interview yet? Or any others? Or any responses to the formal emails you sent last week? I hope you started them all with Good Day and ended them with Cheerio. Like I said, sometimes it's just about writing the craziest thing you can think of. It's depressing that people are so surprised when you get an interview through the appropriate channels. Like, seriously people? How exactly can you call yourself equal opportunity employers? Equal TO WHOM? (This is such a 21st century problem. Like obviously I know what is really meant by equal opportunity, but if someone said "I didn't get an interview because of my race!" the company would just be like "Actually, it was because you applied through the website. Don't you have an uncle here or something?")
I do remember your planner advertising selling job actually. I remember you talking about it and I remember thinking how I'd never want to do that, but that it was cool that you knew the downtown area all of a sudden. You're right. Life is full of lessons that you just have to keep learning over and over again. It's funny because people have said to me that God makes you forget the pain of childbirth so that you won't be deterred from doing it again (a disturbing thought on the pain side, but still), and I've always found it interesting how memory works. You can remember that your wisdom teeth surgery really hurt without remembering what it actually felt like. Even if you assign words to it in the movie, you can bring it back but not quite feel it the same way. And the same goes for a delicious meal you had, or what it felt like to hug someone at just the right time or... I don't know a thousand other things probably. What was my point again? Oh. That the same goes for these lessons, these epiphanies that we have over and over again. That feeling of something clicking in your head and for a minute you're like "Wow. I understand life now. I know what I need to do." Because it's not real life to be able to live in those moments. You just have to do your best to keep them in mind or trust that the process of learning them over and over again is really what it's about anyway. Or, as in the case of childbirth, that it's for the best that we aren't able to remember.
You have actually sent me the Picture/Pixel post before and I think I read the whole thing? But I do like your epiphany about doing things to actively make yourself happy. And I think it ties in perfectly with epiphany number 2- LET'S PLAN ANOTHER TRIP! Or you know, you could do that with someone else, but for my part, I'm a little afraid to travel with an untested travel partner now that I know how fraught it can be at times. Though I would consider solo travel to the right place. I've been thinking about travel a lot lately, as you know from the fact that I keep sending you stuff. Trust me, I don't even send you a quarter of it. Let me know if you'd like more. Anyway, I've been following this guy who is traveling to every country in the world without using any plane travel. He is working with a company that is sponsoring him and he is living off of $20/day. It's bananas. But he did say that he was going over that in the more expensive countries and would spend less in cheaper ones, which make sense. Anyway, he did an AMA the other day and that was pretty interesting. I was thinking today about how interesting it was visiting the shul in Oslo and seeing the community there and how great it would be to travel to different Jewish communities all over the world. And then, in light of reading about this Danish guy, I started wondering if any companies would sponsor me to do something like that. It would be really cool. I'm going to look into it a little.
Off to not write! I've written 312 words today. The target is 2,500. Ugh.
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