I totally feel you about posting more (I realize I say this as I post in a delayed fashion), but still the time when we had almost daily posts was wonderful. It almost felt like we were living together again except in a more cyber way this time. (Not sure if cyber can be used as an adjective. Cyberspace?)
I get it thought, it is hard to make a commitment to something like this when there are a million other things going on like working, and not wanting to look at computer screens and all so I definitely do appreciate that you even post. I always loved communicating to people in this way and Im glad to have a friend I still do it with.
So before I move on to other things in your last post I wanted to tell you that I read the wiki for Cabaret and it really cleared up a lot of things from the show. Like how the host's songs were supposed to be commentary on the other things happening in the show, I feel like the only song I understood that for was the gorilla song. Also some of those alternate endings were pretty insane so Im glad they stuck to the one they did ( I also did not notice that the fence was supposed to be an electric fence until I read the wiki so that was interesting). I would say after reading the wiki I think the show is way more meaningful/powerful in its message but maybe when I had seen it on stage I was just like well this is depressing. Makes me wonder what my reaction would be to seeing something like Waiting for Godot on stage (did you ever have to read that in high school? If not its basically a play about existentialism where two men spend the entire play waiting for this man called Godot to come. He never comes.) Because you know when you're reading a book that's meant to be a classic you're prepared for some heavy stuff and to look for the deeper meaning behind things, but here I was really just prepared to see a cabaret so go figure.
How is your outline coming along! I really should have asked you this in person but its very exciting that you're attempting this again and I think you can accomplish it.
It's great to hear that you enjoyed your birthday! Birthday always make me stressful since I don't know the appropriate amount of excited I am supposed to get for it so I am always either under or over excited and then either way its a bit confusing when my birthday actually does come. But anyways I have not had a Fudgie so it will be on my list going forward. I have also never had your mom's RingDing cake so that will also be on my list going forward. Speaking of which, whenever you are back from St.Louis I would love to come for a Shabbos again if you will have me! I realize there are a few holidays coming up so no rush at all but it just feels like its been a while and it would be nice to come.
I would say my runner up for post title would be this: life is often about making choices where you just have to decide if the fun is worth the fallout. It reminds me of that quote that is often on buzzfeed about how when you get drunk you're really just borrowing tomorrow's happiness for today. But sometimes its just like you know tonight I just want to be extra happy.
When you are replying to this you will probably have already had your interview/the meeting with the RandomHouse girl so please let me know how those went! I totally get what you mean about your gut by the way. I feel like in college I had actual instincts and now half y instincts are really just ways for me to escape my current situation. So thats not fun. I think ultimately thought you have to keep reminding yourself of the person that you are and the things you like to do regardless of where you are (work, home, employed, unemployed, etc) and that will hopefully help sharpen those instincts. But really what do I know.
It's funny that you feel lost and you keep finding other people who feel the same way. For me it feels like I'm really lost but everyone around me doesn't seem lost at all. Either that or they are really really good at hiding it. I feel like Ive heard from about 5 people over the past week who are changing jobs. And maybe thats not really an indication of feeling un-lost but I guess for me its a just a feeling of being stuck while everyone else has found a way to move forward. I realize this is a ridiculous way to think since other people and what they do with their lives does not relate to me in any way. And really its not like I have zero things going on, I am trying. Things are moving along albeit at a snail's pace.
It is comforting to hear that other people out there feel this way though. And I totally do not think your notion that there is something out there you will love, is romanticized or just a Gen Y construct of fulfillment.I mean ok to a certain level it might be, but I feel like the things that separate us and our dream jobs is really just us finding out what we actually like to do. This kind of reminds me of a conversation I was having with a friend from work where he was telling me that he's a hopeless romantic and I was trying to tell him life doesn't always work that way and sometimes its about finding the magic in the ordinary moments of love. So maybe jobs are just like that too. Where maybe its not about finding a job where you're always like yes this is my passion in life and I love this all the time. Maybe its just about finding a balance where you do have those moments where you know you're in the right place and things just feel great,but also knowing that there will never be any job or person or situation where you love it all the time. I for one know there is a better place out there for me than where I currently am and don't want to give up or stop until I find it. But I do hope that when I do find it I keep all of what I just said in mind and also realize that happiness is not always what is outside of me but is also often times my perspective on things.
I kind of went off on a tangent there but what I really meant to say was I am really just as confused and I have no idea How one is supposed to know. So lets hope we figure that out at some point.
I get it thought, it is hard to make a commitment to something like this when there are a million other things going on like working, and not wanting to look at computer screens and all so I definitely do appreciate that you even post. I always loved communicating to people in this way and Im glad to have a friend I still do it with.
So before I move on to other things in your last post I wanted to tell you that I read the wiki for Cabaret and it really cleared up a lot of things from the show. Like how the host's songs were supposed to be commentary on the other things happening in the show, I feel like the only song I understood that for was the gorilla song. Also some of those alternate endings were pretty insane so Im glad they stuck to the one they did ( I also did not notice that the fence was supposed to be an electric fence until I read the wiki so that was interesting). I would say after reading the wiki I think the show is way more meaningful/powerful in its message but maybe when I had seen it on stage I was just like well this is depressing. Makes me wonder what my reaction would be to seeing something like Waiting for Godot on stage (did you ever have to read that in high school? If not its basically a play about existentialism where two men spend the entire play waiting for this man called Godot to come. He never comes.) Because you know when you're reading a book that's meant to be a classic you're prepared for some heavy stuff and to look for the deeper meaning behind things, but here I was really just prepared to see a cabaret so go figure.
How is your outline coming along! I really should have asked you this in person but its very exciting that you're attempting this again and I think you can accomplish it.
It's great to hear that you enjoyed your birthday! Birthday always make me stressful since I don't know the appropriate amount of excited I am supposed to get for it so I am always either under or over excited and then either way its a bit confusing when my birthday actually does come. But anyways I have not had a Fudgie so it will be on my list going forward. I have also never had your mom's RingDing cake so that will also be on my list going forward. Speaking of which, whenever you are back from St.Louis I would love to come for a Shabbos again if you will have me! I realize there are a few holidays coming up so no rush at all but it just feels like its been a while and it would be nice to come.
I would say my runner up for post title would be this: life is often about making choices where you just have to decide if the fun is worth the fallout. It reminds me of that quote that is often on buzzfeed about how when you get drunk you're really just borrowing tomorrow's happiness for today. But sometimes its just like you know tonight I just want to be extra happy.
When you are replying to this you will probably have already had your interview/the meeting with the RandomHouse girl so please let me know how those went! I totally get what you mean about your gut by the way. I feel like in college I had actual instincts and now half y instincts are really just ways for me to escape my current situation. So thats not fun. I think ultimately thought you have to keep reminding yourself of the person that you are and the things you like to do regardless of where you are (work, home, employed, unemployed, etc) and that will hopefully help sharpen those instincts. But really what do I know.
It's funny that you feel lost and you keep finding other people who feel the same way. For me it feels like I'm really lost but everyone around me doesn't seem lost at all. Either that or they are really really good at hiding it. I feel like Ive heard from about 5 people over the past week who are changing jobs. And maybe thats not really an indication of feeling un-lost but I guess for me its a just a feeling of being stuck while everyone else has found a way to move forward. I realize this is a ridiculous way to think since other people and what they do with their lives does not relate to me in any way. And really its not like I have zero things going on, I am trying. Things are moving along albeit at a snail's pace.
It is comforting to hear that other people out there feel this way though. And I totally do not think your notion that there is something out there you will love, is romanticized or just a Gen Y construct of fulfillment.I mean ok to a certain level it might be, but I feel like the things that separate us and our dream jobs is really just us finding out what we actually like to do. This kind of reminds me of a conversation I was having with a friend from work where he was telling me that he's a hopeless romantic and I was trying to tell him life doesn't always work that way and sometimes its about finding the magic in the ordinary moments of love. So maybe jobs are just like that too. Where maybe its not about finding a job where you're always like yes this is my passion in life and I love this all the time. Maybe its just about finding a balance where you do have those moments where you know you're in the right place and things just feel great,but also knowing that there will never be any job or person or situation where you love it all the time. I for one know there is a better place out there for me than where I currently am and don't want to give up or stop until I find it. But I do hope that when I do find it I keep all of what I just said in mind and also realize that happiness is not always what is outside of me but is also often times my perspective on things.
I kind of went off on a tangent there but what I really meant to say was I am really just as confused and I have no idea How one is supposed to know. So lets hope we figure that out at some point.
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