Like all week I kept feeling that there would be a bowl happening real soon, and was just waiting. I don't know why I couldn't have written two posts in a row but that just didnt feel like the right thing to do. It also reminds me of this episode of Boy Meets World (did you ever watch that because I feel we never talked about it) where Mr.Feeny says, in Guttenburg's day people used to wait six months just to get their hands on a book. In your generation you have a new website every six seconds. I don't know why this part of wisdom Mr. Feeny imparted has stuck with me for so long but I thought I would share.
It stinks you had a stressful day, but I didn't find your post overly pessimistic if that helps at all ( I dont know why it would since that day has passed but eh)
That's so cool that you called Jen, if anything I think its the kind of thing she would appreciate. And I get you, my uncle has had two expensive cameras that he has lost before so its important not to break it. But judging from how you normally take care of your things I feel you will be fine and not break it. That being said its an important purchase and its totally normal to take your time with it.
I get your anxiety about blogs and diaries too, I never felt accountable with my diaries because I knew nobody would ever read it or care (except future me and clearly I never cared too much about future me's opinion). And I always get really anxious too when I have to be witty because of course then everything I say just sounds dumb to me so this is just better all around.
I still feel like someone from germany is avidly following our life stories. Maybe we will be the concept of a german movie one day. Who knows.
I feel there is never really a good time to get a haircut. Like on days when I have a random couple hours to spare the last thing I want to do is spend it getting a haircut. And then there's the anxiety of having my hair blown out and not being able to use it on a special occasion. Like what do I look so nice for? Monday?!
Your pessimism/realism about London sounds incredibly natural to me. I also kept thinking of Suite Life of Zach and Cody during your post for some reason. But anyways, I think its so so exciting that it seems impossible( I apoligize for being excited about your anxiety however I just feel like this is just one of those things that's going to make it into your book someday where you'll be telling people how you believed it was impossible and you felt defeated but look, you made it happen and here you are! [you will be in London when you are narrating this fyi]). And ofcourse it seems crazy and impossible now but that's only because you don't know how the story ends yet and you don't know what avenue is going to be the right one. Ultimately this is just a step on the way to success and you need to go through every emotion before you can get to your destination. I'd say for now don't necessarily think about a backup plan because while yes that might be realistic I think this is one of those things where you just kind of have to have faith that it's going to work out. I think that faith will help it work out.
Also as a side note I absolutely loved this line of your post "London feels right but try telling london that"
I can't really ever decide if I want to be realistic or optimistic either, Id like to believe Im both but they really do butt heads sometimes and then I just feel awkward.
Also to traveling--> YES! Seriously, anytime anywhere I am more than down, and sure if London is what works out then I will most definitely come to london. I would just request we look at early to mid august as Im going away again in September but hey who knows maybe I will be in between jobs then and it wont matter. This is me being optimistic by the way because I feel Im not making any real efforts towards job hunting but right now Im not really supposed to be. I dont know why but I just feel like I need to cool down and wait a month before I can get back into it and get my head on straight.
Kind of along the same lines, Im going to India next week! I know i know, its very sudden and its that way for me too. Basically I had zero plans of going anywhere but my grandma is turning 80( which she always was that wasn't the surprise part), and theres this like function for me and at first nobody was going then my mom decided she had to go for her mom and she was like ( to me and my sister) you guys should come too so that all her grandchildren can be there and surprise her and I just couldnt think of a reason why not. Thankfully my manager is great and is letting me work from there so Im leaving next friday and coming back the weekend after so it turned out to be a great fun impromptu trip. I'm just hoping working and everything goes according to plan but recently Iv been feeling like I shouldnt let unnessecary fears rule my life and instead I should just live and hope for the best. It's like sometimes Ill be driving or walking at night time and Ill think of all the terrible things that could possibly happen to me and while its good to be cautious its just silly to be worried about things that arent even happening. Its so not being present to your situation and what is actually happening to you. Like instead of enjoying my nice quiet time I'm just filling it up with fears in my head that aren't needed. So yea I'm going to try and work on cutting that out.
The email from Chopped seems just unnesscary to your life at this point. I dont know how else to put it. What I would say is don't stress about owing her anything. This is actually something that women do a lot where we tie things like jobs to our emotions when really yea she gave you those jobs but guess what? You did work! It's silly to think that she didn't benefit at all from you doing those jobs. And if you have a gut feeling that it's not what's meant for you then just be honest and say youre not interested in coming back so soon. Ultimately she will be thankful that you've contributed and done great work up until now.
I'm so glad you like my blog ( like honestly I was itching for someone to tell me whether it was working or not). Im trying to make it as honest and me as possible because thats kind of the whole point of it. I think it's .com, Im just using the free version, hopefully Ill figure out how to make it look better soon but for now I focus on content which is basically whatever comes into my mind at any point in the day.
As for coming saturday how is June 28? Thats the first one Im back from India and would love to see you then! Miss you too! And Im so glad we are doing this more often! I love writing out everything I'm feeling just knowing that you'll get what Im saying without any further explanation.
It stinks you had a stressful day, but I didn't find your post overly pessimistic if that helps at all ( I dont know why it would since that day has passed but eh)
That's so cool that you called Jen, if anything I think its the kind of thing she would appreciate. And I get you, my uncle has had two expensive cameras that he has lost before so its important not to break it. But judging from how you normally take care of your things I feel you will be fine and not break it. That being said its an important purchase and its totally normal to take your time with it.
I get your anxiety about blogs and diaries too, I never felt accountable with my diaries because I knew nobody would ever read it or care (except future me and clearly I never cared too much about future me's opinion). And I always get really anxious too when I have to be witty because of course then everything I say just sounds dumb to me so this is just better all around.
I still feel like someone from germany is avidly following our life stories. Maybe we will be the concept of a german movie one day. Who knows.
I feel there is never really a good time to get a haircut. Like on days when I have a random couple hours to spare the last thing I want to do is spend it getting a haircut. And then there's the anxiety of having my hair blown out and not being able to use it on a special occasion. Like what do I look so nice for? Monday?!
Your pessimism/realism about London sounds incredibly natural to me. I also kept thinking of Suite Life of Zach and Cody during your post for some reason. But anyways, I think its so so exciting that it seems impossible( I apoligize for being excited about your anxiety however I just feel like this is just one of those things that's going to make it into your book someday where you'll be telling people how you believed it was impossible and you felt defeated but look, you made it happen and here you are! [you will be in London when you are narrating this fyi]). And ofcourse it seems crazy and impossible now but that's only because you don't know how the story ends yet and you don't know what avenue is going to be the right one. Ultimately this is just a step on the way to success and you need to go through every emotion before you can get to your destination. I'd say for now don't necessarily think about a backup plan because while yes that might be realistic I think this is one of those things where you just kind of have to have faith that it's going to work out. I think that faith will help it work out.
Also as a side note I absolutely loved this line of your post "London feels right but try telling london that"
I can't really ever decide if I want to be realistic or optimistic either, Id like to believe Im both but they really do butt heads sometimes and then I just feel awkward.
Also to traveling--> YES! Seriously, anytime anywhere I am more than down, and sure if London is what works out then I will most definitely come to london. I would just request we look at early to mid august as Im going away again in September but hey who knows maybe I will be in between jobs then and it wont matter. This is me being optimistic by the way because I feel Im not making any real efforts towards job hunting but right now Im not really supposed to be. I dont know why but I just feel like I need to cool down and wait a month before I can get back into it and get my head on straight.
Kind of along the same lines, Im going to India next week! I know i know, its very sudden and its that way for me too. Basically I had zero plans of going anywhere but my grandma is turning 80( which she always was that wasn't the surprise part), and theres this like function for me and at first nobody was going then my mom decided she had to go for her mom and she was like ( to me and my sister) you guys should come too so that all her grandchildren can be there and surprise her and I just couldnt think of a reason why not. Thankfully my manager is great and is letting me work from there so Im leaving next friday and coming back the weekend after so it turned out to be a great fun impromptu trip. I'm just hoping working and everything goes according to plan but recently Iv been feeling like I shouldnt let unnessecary fears rule my life and instead I should just live and hope for the best. It's like sometimes Ill be driving or walking at night time and Ill think of all the terrible things that could possibly happen to me and while its good to be cautious its just silly to be worried about things that arent even happening. Its so not being present to your situation and what is actually happening to you. Like instead of enjoying my nice quiet time I'm just filling it up with fears in my head that aren't needed. So yea I'm going to try and work on cutting that out.
The email from Chopped seems just unnesscary to your life at this point. I dont know how else to put it. What I would say is don't stress about owing her anything. This is actually something that women do a lot where we tie things like jobs to our emotions when really yea she gave you those jobs but guess what? You did work! It's silly to think that she didn't benefit at all from you doing those jobs. And if you have a gut feeling that it's not what's meant for you then just be honest and say youre not interested in coming back so soon. Ultimately she will be thankful that you've contributed and done great work up until now.
I'm so glad you like my blog ( like honestly I was itching for someone to tell me whether it was working or not). Im trying to make it as honest and me as possible because thats kind of the whole point of it. I think it's .com, Im just using the free version, hopefully Ill figure out how to make it look better soon but for now I focus on content which is basically whatever comes into my mind at any point in the day.
As for coming saturday how is June 28? Thats the first one Im back from India and would love to see you then! Miss you too! And Im so glad we are doing this more often! I love writing out everything I'm feeling just knowing that you'll get what Im saying without any further explanation.
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