I agree it's great talking to people about the trip who actually want to hear about it. It's especially nice when you have one of those random flashbacks and are with someone you can share it with.
So glad the job is going well! Yay!Working sundays most definitely does not sound fun but if you enjoy your work then I suppose its not so bad. I agree its very fascinating to listen to people who are good with other. Whenever I meet someone who is just so natural and great at talking to people I always try to observe them and take mental notes but then just end up being my awkward self at the end of the day.
I always wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life. It's funny and comforting to hear you feel the same way too because I always think I feel this way because I work in finance and its the typical useless industry that's just all about making money. You would think TV is an industry that's more artistic and people who work in it are more about following their passions and all. But go figure. This also leads me to think that unless you work for greenpeace or own JARS maybe every 20 something feels like this. Have I told you about the book the defining decade? Its all about how your 20s are the most important decade and she goes over all these problems that people in our age have and how we feel and how to deal with it. I would recommend reading it but don't expect it will have all the answers its more just about getting perspective I think. One part in the book I think back to often is the end where this girl asks an older person "Am I going to make it?" and he replies " You haven't decided yet." So that's profound and scary at the same time. It's a nonfiction book in case that wasn't implied. But yes anyways my point is that maybe regardless of what we do we will feel like this and that's just because we are ambitious people who do want to do something worthwhile when in reality any job we can get so early in our careers won't really give us that satisfaction.
Along the same lines I am also constantly thinking about what else is out there for me. Some days I feel trapped and some days the possibilities feel endless. There's a great Ted talk by Priya Parker on how a lot of smart, talented people end up in professions that don't make a difference in world and how those people can work to unwind themselves from those jobs to wind up in ones where they will make a difference while also making themselves happy. The talk is great but again all these things just seem easier said than done. Some days I also feel like I am worrying about it too much and I should just go with the flow and things will work themselves out. And then I freak out that I'm not doing enough or taking advantage of my opportunities. So yea. Confusion.
I wonder if 10 years from now we will look back on all these things and be amused or are we going to be like..nothing has changed? I certainly hope not. Things should change.
I know sounded very depressed and down in my last post and to tell you the truth I really was but thankfully I was able to get enough perspective in my life to stop feeling that way after a couple of days. I think it just really got to me because I felt like I had been job hunting for SO long and after all that to think I hadn't found something good just made me feel like a failure. But now Ive kind of come to the conclusion that while yes I don't have a new job yet and yes that certainly sucks that shouldn't be the be all and end all of my life and my mood. I think Ive been so hung up on the job thing that I never really took the time to celebrate the things that I did manage to change in my life like moving out or going to Scandinavia with you! These are still pretty big things that at one point in the past I only hoped to have and now I have it. I did it, and regardless of what is going on in my job life it should still make me happy. Also when I was whining to one of my friends from work he was just like first world problems Monisha, and after I was like ugh I was like..this is true. I have a job that pays me enough to lead a great life and I should be thankful of that instead of whining about it constantly.
So yes Im doing better now. Something I think also helped is that I was really resisting doing the work in my new team/becoming a part of it thinking that if I didn't get attached to it then it would be easier to leave. But ultimately all that did was make my present a living hell because of the bets I was placing on my future. Now Im trying to be more involved and weirdly enough its making things better. So I will let you know how this week goes.
As for the apartment that too is getting much easier. Once I got over the this is all new and freaky feeling I realized the my commute is now ten minutes and I have way more time to myself feeling and that feeling is fantastic. So yea just starting trouble.
I have to say though that even when Im going through all this your empathy is great and knowing you are here for me does make it all that much better. The great thing is when someone can take what you're feeling and paraphrase it for you. Then you really know they get what youre saying.
Some other life updates:
1. I went to my friend's wedding yesterday and it was so much fun I can't wait to start attending more. At the same time its crazy to think people in my age group can be MARRIED so maybe I can.
2. Sorry this bowl is so late the wifi in my apt last week was not working hopefully I will find a way to be much more punctual with this now.
I guess I only had 2...ah well. As for dinner this week I would love to except I can't do tuesday but any other day I would love to! Can't wait to hear more stories soon! (especially the pizza stone one).
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