So I apologize that this is way more delayed than I had originally intended but I finally managed to get ready for bed early enough and am here now. Today when I left work I stood up and announced that Monday is Over, then I left. I imagine it was a dramatic exit (if anybody noticed), so I thought Id share that.
My weekend was mostly spent packing, going to Ikea ( not gonna lie it made me a little bit sad that we're not going to Sweden but then I got over it), and trying to get rid of a bunch of my stuff that I no longer need. It's funny how whenever I talk about all this stuff I have I'm always like ugh I don't need it and I never use it and it just takes up space and am generally blah about all of it. But when it came time to actually give/throw it away its suddenly like the stuff takes on a whole new meaning. Like the bulls I had from our freshman year ( Buff and...Jamal?), like deep down I knew that aside from those 5 seconds I was spending looking at them I never look at them or think about them or even remember I have them. But suddenly when it comes time to get rid of it I get incredibly nostalgic and don't want to let go. I was actually listening to this great podcast today on Happiness ( highly recommend podcasts by NPR-Ted talks, btw) and one of the guys who gave a Ted talk was this person who became a millionaire when he was 28 and then proceeded to spend a lot of his money buying stuff. But he realized that the more stuff he accumulated that none of it actually made him feel happy and it was actually liberating for him to renounce all of it and live in this 2000 sq ft ( i may have made that number up but its a small number) apartment. The guy on NPR radio (who's name was Guy heh) asked him about the whole nostalgia thing and he was just like, I may keep 1 or 2 things here and there and the rest I just take a picture of. So that was interesting.
I had my 3rd round last week with the essay place and I went in on friday wearing a suit because my recruiter didn't have any real information about what I was to expect. It was casual friday at the office so I stuck out like a sore thumb but anyways it turned out the interview was another technical round where they basically gave me a bunch of vague info and a blank excel spreadsheet and asked me to create a valuation (nothing remotely close to anything Iv ever done before). So as she was explaining it to me I tried to stay calm and then once she left I proceeded to panic, convince myself the job wasn't for me, and contemplate getting up and running out. After I got over my panic, I eventually managed to put something together. I think I also realized the more I went through it that the exercise was intended to make me panic and their objective was to see how I handled stressful situations and such. So that was sneaky. In any case, whatever I came up with must have been good because they told me I did great and my final round is next week so Im really excited for that.
As for my current work stuff nothing has really changed and its actually quite a miserable situation to have to go in everyday and not have anything to work on. The sad part is my manager knows and wants to help but unfortunately can't because of higher ups who just cannot make up their minds as to the status of our projects. So that's that. Lets just say Im really glad vacation is soon...
TRIP TALKKK
So this portion is the main reason I really wanted to write this earlier because I just have to tell you that its totally ok and normal to feel overwhelmed and anxious. I sometimes start feeling that way too but what helps calm me down is realizing that we can have as much planned as we can but some things will just be beyond our control and we just have to be ok with that. Like yea I was really bummed about the whole Stavanger thing too (especially because when I told my sister we were going to Norway she was like make sure you take a picture on that rock!..and lo and behold the rock she was referring to is in Stavanger) but nonetheless its not like Stavanger is going anywhere and while we may not get to see it during this time there will be plenty of other opportunities to stop by (like say when you live in London, I come visit you and we decide to go to Scotland). This also relates to this one Indian movie I watched where there's a scene where guy and girl are watching a sunset while touring a city and the guy is like cmon we have to go so we don't miss the light and sound show at this other place, and the girl is like but I like this sunset. He gets up to go, but she stops him and says you know there's always going to be something you're missing out on in life. Like its physically impossible to do everything and see everything and be everywhere. The best you can do in all that is try to enjoy what you have in front of you, because what you are currently experiencing can give you a lot more than worrying about all those things you missed out on. I'm sure there was a more succinct way I could have made that point but eh.
Also I get where you are coming from in that the more we book, the less flexibility we have but 1) we may be flexible but the trains/buses/planes may not be and 2) We will already have a lot of things to decide there like what hikes to take and where to rent bikes and what to eat that day so at that time we will be grateful for the things we had planned in advance. And if not well eh you live and you learn.
I think that's pretty much what I wanted to say there. There is no guarantee that everything will be perfect. Heck last year I booked a tour where pretty much every detail was planned for me and even then things were not perfect because I got sick, and people had conflicting opinions and so on. But instead of focusing on the million things that could possibly go wrong the best thing we can do for ourselves is think of everything that could go right.
Also please don't every hold back on writing or saying what you feel because you think it will bring the post down or I will feel bad. Ultimately this blog and this vacation are both of ours and we should be able to express ourselves properly in how we are feeling. Not just that I feel as though you forget that Ive known you for like 6 years now so Ive seen a lot of what is Jenna.
My weekend was mostly spent packing, going to Ikea ( not gonna lie it made me a little bit sad that we're not going to Sweden but then I got over it), and trying to get rid of a bunch of my stuff that I no longer need. It's funny how whenever I talk about all this stuff I have I'm always like ugh I don't need it and I never use it and it just takes up space and am generally blah about all of it. But when it came time to actually give/throw it away its suddenly like the stuff takes on a whole new meaning. Like the bulls I had from our freshman year ( Buff and...Jamal?), like deep down I knew that aside from those 5 seconds I was spending looking at them I never look at them or think about them or even remember I have them. But suddenly when it comes time to get rid of it I get incredibly nostalgic and don't want to let go. I was actually listening to this great podcast today on Happiness ( highly recommend podcasts by NPR-Ted talks, btw) and one of the guys who gave a Ted talk was this person who became a millionaire when he was 28 and then proceeded to spend a lot of his money buying stuff. But he realized that the more stuff he accumulated that none of it actually made him feel happy and it was actually liberating for him to renounce all of it and live in this 2000 sq ft ( i may have made that number up but its a small number) apartment. The guy on NPR radio (who's name was Guy heh) asked him about the whole nostalgia thing and he was just like, I may keep 1 or 2 things here and there and the rest I just take a picture of. So that was interesting.
I had my 3rd round last week with the essay place and I went in on friday wearing a suit because my recruiter didn't have any real information about what I was to expect. It was casual friday at the office so I stuck out like a sore thumb but anyways it turned out the interview was another technical round where they basically gave me a bunch of vague info and a blank excel spreadsheet and asked me to create a valuation (nothing remotely close to anything Iv ever done before). So as she was explaining it to me I tried to stay calm and then once she left I proceeded to panic, convince myself the job wasn't for me, and contemplate getting up and running out. After I got over my panic, I eventually managed to put something together. I think I also realized the more I went through it that the exercise was intended to make me panic and their objective was to see how I handled stressful situations and such. So that was sneaky. In any case, whatever I came up with must have been good because they told me I did great and my final round is next week so Im really excited for that.
As for my current work stuff nothing has really changed and its actually quite a miserable situation to have to go in everyday and not have anything to work on. The sad part is my manager knows and wants to help but unfortunately can't because of higher ups who just cannot make up their minds as to the status of our projects. So that's that. Lets just say Im really glad vacation is soon...
TRIP TALKKK
So this portion is the main reason I really wanted to write this earlier because I just have to tell you that its totally ok and normal to feel overwhelmed and anxious. I sometimes start feeling that way too but what helps calm me down is realizing that we can have as much planned as we can but some things will just be beyond our control and we just have to be ok with that. Like yea I was really bummed about the whole Stavanger thing too (especially because when I told my sister we were going to Norway she was like make sure you take a picture on that rock!..and lo and behold the rock she was referring to is in Stavanger) but nonetheless its not like Stavanger is going anywhere and while we may not get to see it during this time there will be plenty of other opportunities to stop by (like say when you live in London, I come visit you and we decide to go to Scotland). This also relates to this one Indian movie I watched where there's a scene where guy and girl are watching a sunset while touring a city and the guy is like cmon we have to go so we don't miss the light and sound show at this other place, and the girl is like but I like this sunset. He gets up to go, but she stops him and says you know there's always going to be something you're missing out on in life. Like its physically impossible to do everything and see everything and be everywhere. The best you can do in all that is try to enjoy what you have in front of you, because what you are currently experiencing can give you a lot more than worrying about all those things you missed out on. I'm sure there was a more succinct way I could have made that point but eh.
Also I get where you are coming from in that the more we book, the less flexibility we have but 1) we may be flexible but the trains/buses/planes may not be and 2) We will already have a lot of things to decide there like what hikes to take and where to rent bikes and what to eat that day so at that time we will be grateful for the things we had planned in advance. And if not well eh you live and you learn.
I think that's pretty much what I wanted to say there. There is no guarantee that everything will be perfect. Heck last year I booked a tour where pretty much every detail was planned for me and even then things were not perfect because I got sick, and people had conflicting opinions and so on. But instead of focusing on the million things that could possibly go wrong the best thing we can do for ourselves is think of everything that could go right.
Also please don't every hold back on writing or saying what you feel because you think it will bring the post down or I will feel bad. Ultimately this blog and this vacation are both of ours and we should be able to express ourselves properly in how we are feeling. Not just that I feel as though you forget that Ive known you for like 6 years now so Ive seen a lot of what is Jenna.
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